after an argument with her dad.
i can not even imagine.
what would you do with your child, in a situation like this?!
Not sure what I would do but my cousin did something similar .... Her mom past away and a couple months after she got wasted and set the house on fire she got probabtion time
I'd let her stay in jail.
After she got out of the detention center she would have a nice long break away from her family at a wilderness camp for troubled teens.
DH's nephew attempted to set DH's mothers house on fire. his sister had died and the father is out of the picture leaving his nephew to go from family to family. they believe he has a learning disability and so my husbands nephew used this as a leverage. he tried to set his grandmothers house on fire, it was being investigated. they didnt realize it was him at the time. he came to live with us while it was being investigated. they found out it was him and they took him from his grandmothers custody, because he is considered to have psychological problems, instead of putting him in juvie they put him with a foster family. he burned their house to the ground. my MIL told them to put him in juvie so he can take the consequences of his actions, but they didnt listen. now he is in jail, from the time he was 15 until his 18th birthday next year.
Unfortunately I don't think he has learned.
If I were in that situation, with my child, I would be torn with wanting them to understand they can't escape the consequences of such an action, but at the same time wanting to be a mother and protect my baby.
I think I would lean toward juvie though, and visit often to that he knows its not because I dont love him, but I want him to learn from his mistakes.
Idk what I would do. Definitely not bail her out of jail or whatever. I would make her sit it out. And get some therapy for the whole family.
Quite honestly I'd just disown her. Little teenage tantrum where no ones life is endangered and she hasn't intentionally put my life at risk we could probably get over it but that, no. It doesn't say who else was in the house however there could have been younger siblings in their or anything. When you start doing things that could seriously kill your parents or siblings just because of a little teenage tantrum it's time to say bye, bye. I'll happily press charges and kick your ass off to jail and don't bother expecting me to be waiting on you when you come out either! That's what I would tell her.
I'd let them serve time in juvie/jail whichever and for however long. If it's until 18 then so be it and afterwards they can be on their own. I don't want my child to think they can harm their family and set our house on fire and then be welcomed with open arms. I would still keep a relationship with them, if they wanted.
Quoting xTJ:" Quite honestly I'd just disown her. Little teenage tantrum where no ones life is endangered and she hasn't ... [snip!] ... your ass off to jail and don't bother expecting me to be waiting on you when you come out either! That's what I would tell her."
Wow...I can't think of anything that would make me disown my children. I would send them to get help, or let them spend time in jail if they deserve it, but I would never disown. That's harsh. So much for unconditional love.
After she was finished with her legal punishment I would demand counceling. Idk..it would be hard to trust her after she did something so extreme. I guess it would depend on what came from her punishment and counceling. I will always love her, but Idk if I could bring myself to allow her in my home again if she were to show no change.
Quoting ღFrodoliciousღ:" So your kid puts the whole family in danger, but then expects to come back like nothing happened, and ... [snip!] ... would never be allowed to be near her siblings again though until they hit age 18, and she'd never step foot in my home again. "
If you read my other post you would see that would not be the case either. There is medium ground between "disowning" and "allowing them to come back like nothing happened". As I stated I would send her off to receive help at a wilderness camp for troubled teens and see how that affects her. Additional counseling outside the home if necessary. The way I see it is that I love my children unconditionally, and would never give up on them. I wouldn't put my other family in harms way, but there are ways to love her, and help her without disowning her, or harming your other family members.
<blockquote><b>Quoting Kaleighshaleigh:</b>" Wow...I can't think of anything that would make me disown my children. I would send them to get help, ... [snip!] ... or let them spend time in jail if they deserve it, but I would never disown. That's harsh. So much for unconditional love."</blockquote>
Well I can think of a few and burning a house down with no regard for the life of their Mother or siblings is definitely one. Unconditional love? Oh yes I'll still have a love for my baby..... Doesn't mean I have to tolerate you trying to kill me. Yup bye, bye for good it is!
Quoting Kaleighshaleigh:" If you read my other post you would see that would not be the case either. There is medium ground between ... [snip!] ... family in harms way, but there are ways to love her, and help her without disowning her, or harming your other family members."
I agree with this. It's a tough situation to think about. One would never hope their child would do something like that; however, I know I would beat myself up to not have a relationship with my daughter and to make her feel like I don't love her by disowning her. It would take a lot of counceling and some serious effort on everyone's part to feel "normal" again, but I wouldn't disown my child without trying to make it work first. That could mean she doesn't live in my home until we see if things get better, but at least there is effort put forth before just disowning her.