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Cass Hole 3 kids; Shiloh, IL, United States 7588 posts
Mar 4th '13
Quoting she nan igans:" Yes, but IMO you shouldn't be able to sign away certain rights. If I sign a contract saying I'll kill ... [snip!] ... signed it, now deal with it." There are things you can't sign away, and IMO rights to your own body need to be one of those. "


I agree. BUT she shouldn't have become a surrogate in the first place then or she should have had it written in the contract before signing that she wouldn't agree to terminate the pregnancy for any reason or amount. The parents could have then decided to agree with those terms or not gone through with the surrogacy. Her just going against their wishes and saying the hell with the contract she signed is just wrong. imo.

castaway 2 kids; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 20306 posts
Mar 4th '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Cass Hole:</b>" I agree. BUT she shouldn't have become a surrogate in the first place then or she should have had it ... [snip!] ... with the surrogacy. Her just going against their wishes and saying the hell with the contract she signed is just wrong. imo. "</blockquote>



Right or wrong, what is the ultimate solution?



Forcing her to have an abortion? How? Tie her down? Shoot her with a tranquilizer dart? Maybe shoot her so the fetus doesn't survive? Sheesh.



Contracts having to do with such things are too murky. No one wins when it goes awry.

Cass Hole 3 kids; Shiloh, IL, United States 7588 posts
Mar 4th '13
Quoting pilot Jess:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Cass Hole:</b>" I agree. BUT she shouldn't have become a surrogate ... [snip!] ... the fetus doesn't survive? Sheesh. Contracts having to do with such things are too murky. No one wins when it goes awry."


She shouldn't have become a surrogate to begin with. I never said I thought she should be forced to have an abortion. I don't agree with that at all but what she did was wrong. She knew what she was getting into, she knew what she could have been asked to do. She agreed to all of it but then said no once faced with it.

castaway 2 kids; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 20306 posts
Mar 4th '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Cass Hole:</b>" She shouldn't have become a surrogate to begin with. I never said I thought she should be forced to ... [snip!] ... was getting into, she knew what she could have been asked to do. She agreed to all of it but then said no once faced with it. "</blockquote>




Yeah, but she can't go back.
Maybe she thought that she would feel differently than she actually did when she was faced with a situation. There are a lot of scenarios that can't be accurately predicted until you're there.




Simple example,
I breastfed my first baby but was a sahm. With my second baby, I worked full time and thought, "I'll formula feed. It was hard as it was staying at home. I'm not going to put myself through that. Formula fed babies are just fine"




Guess who has worked their ass off hell or high water to make sure their second baby has had only breast milk through multiple over night work trips? Yep.




Humanity is unpredictable. "Should" is an easy word in theory. Not in practice.

Cass Hole 3 kids; Shiloh, IL, United States 7588 posts
Mar 4th '13
Quoting pilot Jess:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Cass Hole:</b>" She shouldn't have become a surrogate to begin ... [snip!] ... multiple over night work trips? Yep. Humanity is unpredictable. "Should" is an easy word in theory. Not in practice."


I know she can't go back and I know there is a lot more that comes into play with this particular situation I'm sure but she agreed to these things before anything was signed. I get where you are coming from but I don't agree with her choice. I am in the process of becoming a surrogate and possible termination is something that is discussed and thought of in depth before agreeing to anything. I understand that emotions and feelings change but that should have been taken into consideration. If I had any moment of hesitation regarding any of these situations I wouldn't have gone through with it at all.




Surrogacy is a very special thing to be a part of and every aspect of it should be seriously taken into account. To me (and this may not be the case) It seems this girl mostly thought about the financial gain and not the hardships of becoming a carrier or the tough choices she could have been faced with.

castaway 2 kids; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 20306 posts
Mar 4th '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Cass Hole:</b>" I know she can't go back and I know there is a lot more that comes into play with this particular situation ... [snip!] ... about the financial gain and not the hardships of becoming a carrier or the tough choices she could have been faced with. "</blockquote>




I understand your passion given your situation, but I don't think it's fair to judge her motivations. Any combination is possible. And who knows what you would, or any of us, ultimately decide given the situation.

The Master Due September 8; 2 kids; Perth, Australia 20023 posts
Mar 5th '13

She broke a contract, I hope she has to pay back every cent with interest. Thats what I have to do when I break a contract.

Household 6 2 kids; Columbus, Georgia 17761 posts
Mar 5th '13

I'm just in shock by this. It might have been her body, but it WAS NOT HER BABY. She signed a contract saying she'd abort in a situation like this, and then changed her mind and gave up a baby that she had zero rights to? How in the f**k is that even possible? She was an oven. I can't believe any laws would allow her to give up a baby that wasn't hers in the first place. That's insane to me. If the surrogate's eggs were the ones being used and it was a case of artificial insemination with the end result being she'd give up the baby to the bio dad and his wife, I could ALMOST understand it, but it wasn't. It's like someone giving me the ingredients for me to make a cake, paying me to make it for them, and then me being like "Ehhhh, I don't like the party you're having for the cake to be eaten, so I'm just going to give it to someone else because I approve of what they'll do with it." Only, ya know, with a baby and not baked goods.

_______Nope_________ 23772 posts
Mar 5th '13

There seems to be this idea that people assume someone will KNOW how they feel before they are faced with a situation. I could say all day long that I would abort if my baby had defects, but until I am faced with that situation I really don't know. She may have very well thought she could do it. She may have assumed she could do it, no problem. However, when faced with the situation, she found she couldn't.



She isn't an "oven." She didn't lease her body. She agreed to do something for others, but she didn't sign away the rights to her body.



Should she have signed that contract? Obviously not. Should women get pregnant when they don't want a baby? No. But it happens. People change their minds. This is the risk with surrogacy. I can say all day long that I will NOT have an epidural during delivery, but that doesn't sign away my rights to do with my body as I want when presented with that circumstance.

user banned 1 child; Boston, Massachusetts 30985 posts
Mar 5th '13

Baby S = seraphina in case you wondered. Weird name.



I feel so bad for the real parents. This child never should have been born

......... nowhere, NW, United States 25972 posts
Mar 5th '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Monica♥YASDYARDFR:</b>" Should a surrogate get a say in the termination for a child? This child was diagnosed as having a cleft ... [snip!] ... for adoption. What are your thoughts? http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/04/health/surrogacy-kelley-legal-battle/index.html?hpt=hp_c1"</blockquote>




While I think she should have had the abortion, I respect her choice. No one should be made to have an abortion regardless of the situation.

......... nowhere, NW, United States 25972 posts
Mar 5th '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting empire state of mind:</b>" Should have been in their contract. Otherwise the surrogate can so as she sees fit"</blockquote>




It was but it didn't say what abnormalities exactly.

......... nowhere, NW, United States 25972 posts
Mar 5th '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Glo♥:</b>" It aggravates me I read the whole thing... Tey offered 10k she wants 15k they say no she wanted more ... [snip!] ... to me it's that they wanted to give the baby up for adoption she refuses but goes to another state and does the same WTF???"</blockquote>




No, they wanted to drop it off somewhere. It would have likely died before it got to that as I'm sure they wouldn't have wanted to intervene. But she didn't want her going through the foster care system.

......... nowhere, NW, United States 25972 posts
Mar 5th '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Monica♥YASDYARDFR:</b>" and also offered that if the baby had abnormalities she would abort. "</blockquote>




It said something about extreme ones (don't remember the exact term). Who determines what extreme is?

Ellie. 2 kids; Arizona 25443 posts
Mar 6th '13

It wasn't her choice to make. It wasn't her child. That's extremely selfish and trying to play god with someone else's kid.

She signed a contract, and she broke it. Period. She knew that it may be an option, but she was a greedy b***h and just needed money. IMO, I think she didnt want to abort because the payments would stop.