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No father vs bad father user banned
Feb 26th '13

I asked my son's psychologist and he was stumped.




WDYT? Is having no father better than having a bad father?

Angel [Mariah's Mommy] 1 child; Indianapolis, Indiana 18065 posts
Feb 26th '13

I vote bad father is worse...

☠Jenniefahhh 1 child; Djibouti 70810 posts
Feb 26th '13

I think it's better to have no father.



I didn't have a dad. I was never disappointed, I never got my hopes up that he'd come and pick me up then bail.



I'm especially more fond of no dad now that my daughter has a shitbag dad. He's the type to go months without even calling, then call, then stop again. I hate him. My poor kid told people her dad was dead, she asks why he doesn't love her, why he doesn't call her. Makes me sick.

nendhsiwjru 6 kids; Denver, Co, United States 37137 posts
Feb 26th '13

Absolutely.
I am so thankful to my mom for choosing to raise me on her own as opposed to staying with a man who did not respect her or cared about me. She raised me to be a strong, independent woman and I have 0 resentment towards her. She taught me that I am worth more than just settling with someone for the mere fact of not being alone.

.free. 2 kids; Arkansas 36040 posts
Feb 26th '13

I'd say bad father is worse.



You know how strained my relationship is with my mom, and how she is...so maybe that sways my opinion?

UhmAmber 1 child; Texas 2415 posts
Feb 26th '13

I would say yes.
I didn't have a father, but many good father figures. I'm pretty okay with it.
I have cousins that have a pretty bad father, and I'm in fear that they'll become cerial killers. :shock:

Mama Rice 34 kids; North Las Vegas, Nevada 11987 posts
Feb 26th '13

Depends on what you mean by bad? Abusive in any way, pedophile, or something like that then no father. Maybe not as helpful with daily tasks but still kinda provides bad father, the latter can be changed. The first are seriously harmful and I would not trust the ability to change in those terms.

**Quinn** 1 child; f**k it, CA, United States 5205 posts
Feb 26th '13

I think it depends on the person. I had both a "bad" mother, and after she died, no mother. I would prefer having her, even with her issues (drug addict, alcoholic, absentee parent on occasion, stints in rehab, etc), over having no mother. This is coming from someone who experienced both as a child, but I do think it depends on the individual. Some will do better with no father and some will do better with a bad father.

Boobo&bugs 2 kids; Simpsonville, South Carolina 8124 posts
Feb 26th '13

My child development professor said bad father is worse than no father. I agree completely with her.

LynMarie.xo Due January 18 (boy); Ontario 113 posts
Feb 26th '13

have the father! the kid will learn when they are older not to be like them in the bad ways if you are the main moral support in their life. I think its better to have that connection even if he is not the greatest,nobody is perfect but it could damage LO in the long run having that absence of a male figure if its a boy u are talking about. It could even be a good thing bc the dad is bad so it will spark the child to be anything but bc they dont want to be like that... just my opinion.

nothingness Arizona 3578 posts
Feb 26th '13

Mmmm....I think having no father is worse.



At least is he's a dead beat it teaches you not to be one...in most cases...

Angel [Mariah's Mommy] 1 child; Indianapolis, Indiana 18065 posts
Feb 26th '13
Quoting LynMarie.xo:" have the father! the kid will learn when they are older not to be like them in the bad ways if you are ... [snip!] ... thing bc the dad is bad so it will spark the child to be anything but bc they dont want to be like that... just my opinion."


that's not true. they could see that as acceptable behavior...

Melissa 1 child; Michigan 1411 posts
Feb 26th '13

depends on how bad it is. When I was younger my mom was NOT a good mother, but I would still prefer to have her than not have her. We get along much better now.

LynMarie.xo Due January 18 (boy); Ontario 113 posts
Feb 26th '13

i think its very important for a child to be familier with both sides of where they came from to get a sense of who they are and who their family is. jsut extending on my last comment on thinking having the father if he is not too bad of a father is a good idea. I would hate wondering all the time even if my dad was a drug addict or w.e. wondering who he is and what he is like, looks like. its kindof important

**Quinn** 1 child; f**k it, CA, United States 5205 posts
Feb 26th '13
Quoting Rydicule91:" Mmmm....I think having no father is worse. At least is he's a dead beat it teaches you not to be one...in most cases..."


I agree. I have two sisters (both biological). I don't drink, and my sisters rarely do. None of us have done drugs (other than my youngest sister experimenting with weed for a month, 2 years ago). My mom taught us what we didn't want to be, with her actions.