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MommaNoodle 2 kids; Pennsylvania 13115 posts
Jan 23rd '13
Quoting she nan igans:" It's not acceptable, and the kids need to be addressed, but I think the point they were trying to make ... [snip!] ... be totally mutual exploration and the reaction could be waht made her cry later, because she thought she'd done something bad. "


true. i see what you're saying. and if she touched his p***s, then i agree completely. i guess she will have to own up to that, if it happened. and then i could see the curiosity. but the incident should still be addressed because it's inappropriate for it to happen at school.



if it was a matter of just him touching her or just her touching him, then i would want whomever was the "aggressor" or "initiator" to be punished. the sex/gender of the child doesn't matter much to me.

_______Nope_________ 23772 posts
Jan 23rd '13
Quoting MommaNoodle:" true. i see what you're saying. and if she touched his p***s, then i agree completely. i guess she will ... [snip!] ... would want whomever was the "aggressor" or "initiator" to be punished. the sex/gender of the child doesn't matter much to me. "


I don't think there needs to be punishment if no one was forced. I mean, even if he said "can I see yours" and she agrees, he shouldn't be punished. Explained that he shouldn't do it? Yes. But not punished for something that was consensual (if it was consensual). I mean, the issue started with her asking a male adult to tickle her there, so it's possible that she did that at the time and that they were just kids exploring. I'm not saying that *IS* the case, but neither do I think a 5 year old should automatically be assumed to be a pervert in need of punishment for something that might have been totally innocent exploration.



It needs to be addressed, but that doesn't mean kids need punishment automatically. That's all I'm saying.

MommaNoodle 2 kids; Pennsylvania 13115 posts
Jan 23rd '13
Quoting she nan igans:" I don't think there needs to be punishment if no one was forced. I mean, even if he said "can I see ... [snip!] ... exploration. It needs to be addressed, but that doesn't mean kids need punishment automatically. That's all I'm saying. "


i meant he should be "punished" if he was the initiator and she was not interested, or vice versa. and punishment isn't necessarily the word i'm looking for, but it's the closest term i can think of lol. like.... disciplined? talked to? idk. if one initiated it and the other was not interested in the curiosity, i think some kind of action should be taken.



if they were both just curious, they should be told it's inappropriate for that time and place and whatever else, you know?

_______Nope_________ 23772 posts
Jan 23rd '13
Quoting MommaNoodle:" i meant he should be "punished" if he was the initiator and she was not interested, or vice versa. and ... [snip!] ... if they were both just curious, they should be told it's inappropriate for that time and place and whatever else, you know?"


Yeah, I agree with that. If it was not consensual then there should be a punishment because it was overstepping someone elses personal boundaries. If it was consensual play, then they both need to be spoken to about limits and personal space.



I think a lot of times parents can cause more problems for their kids because of their reactions, and that's maybe why I'm sensitive about it. As in, they FREAK OUT and the kids end up feeling like they did something wrong. That breeds a lot of body shame with something that should be addressed, but shouldn't cause a kid to think they're bad, you know? Honestly this is how a lot of victims end up feeling responsible. Because people are so upset by it, and kids internalize blame, so they think that parents are mad AT THEM.



It's a rough situation to be in no matter who it is, you know?

ßlack Rose ♥ 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Sharon, OK, United States 5335 posts
Jan 23rd '13

Definitely not blowing it out of proportion. When I was alot younger, a boy made me do some things that still haunt me. But its definitely not normal. Maybe he watched something he wasn't suppose to and was curious as to what it was like? I feel so sorry for your daughter. :(

☆OGTattedmama07☆ 3 kids; Ghetto, Ca, United States 36861 posts
Jan 23rd '13

OK UPDATE!!!



I went into the office and asked if I could talk to the principal or counselor about some things I was concerned with... and basically hes going to talk to the teacher about the comment, look into the matter, and yes, him and that little boy will be separated.



As far as my daughter goes it won't happen again, and he will be contacting the parents just to let them know that there is some inappropriate touching.

Mrs. Conan O'Brien 3 kids; Colorado 21082 posts
Jan 23rd '13
Quoting Ur Local Frnt Desk Clrk:" OK UPDATE!!! I went into the office and asked if I could talk to the principal or counselor about some ... [snip!] ... it won't happen again, and he will be contacting the parents just to let them know that there is some inappropriate touching. "


that's awesome

La~La 4 kids; Houston, Texas 22036 posts
Jan 23rd '13
Quoting Thisperyears:" Hell f**king no. I'd be storming into that school demanding to talk to the principal, school board, the other kid's parents, school psychologist, whatever it took to get to the bottom of it. "


:!::!::!::!::!::!::!::!::!:

user banned 1 child; Portland, Maine 20613 posts
Jan 24th '13
Quoting Ur Local Frnt Desk Clrk:" OK UPDATE!!! I went into the office and asked if I could talk to the principal or counselor about some ... [snip!] ... it won't happen again, and he will be contacting the parents just to let them know that there is some inappropriate touching. "

That's great! I'm glad the principal is taking action.

MunchkinWrangler 4 kids; Rīga, Latvia 47032 posts
Jan 25th '13

Im late on this but I want to say that five years old is a very curious age. Kids are learning about their bodies and they tend to do things like play doctor and such. Chances are, the kid was just curious and the intent was harmless.... However, regardless of this it shouldn't be happening at school. Someone should be watching them more closely. I would skip talking to the teacher and go right to the principal or guidance counselor and make sure that the kids are being better supervised so it doesn't happen again. I honestly think it's innocent on the kids part because they are curious and still quite innocent at that age.... Hes not trying to molest her or anything at five years old- im sure it's just curiosity. I wouldn't hesitate to keep my child home until it was sorted out, though. Maybe the guidance counselor can talk to both of the kids and get to the bottom of it.