elisabeth♡ 49 kids; Connecticut 853 posts
Jan 12th '13
Quoting loser mom:" Do you have a good support system at home? Friends, family, ect?"

My uncle and grandparents, a few close friends, the mother of SO's older child

loser mom 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Oslo, Norway, ,,, Europe 12277 posts
Jan 12th '13
Quoting elisabeth♡:" My uncle and grandparents, a few close friends, the mother of SO's older child"

That's good! :)

greenmamabecky☮ TTC since Jul 2013; 18 kids; Enfield, Connecticut 20987 posts
Jan 12th '13

I was *almost* in your position. I have been through a lot with DH though. You mentioned him getting clean. Was he on drugs or just doing a lot of stupid stuff?
I know you think he was a good dad, but a good dad would be thinking about consequences and not putting himself in this position. Maybe you need to step back, take a break, and get a better outlook on the situation. DH and I were together for 3 yrs before I finally left him. It took about another 8 months for him to get his shit together after that and up until then I had led him to believe(and I believed myself) that I would never want to be with him again. I actually approached him after he cleaned his life up about us getting back together, and I actually felt confident about being with him and confident about having someone responsible who could take care of me and our son. It was the best feeling in the world to know I could rely on him and see the change when in the past I was always worried about how he was going to screw up next.

Pey and Trista's mommy Due January 5; 3 kids; 2 angel babies; Houston, Texas 42508 posts
Jan 12th '13

Ours not if my bff's exes (her oldest dad) had been in prison since she was a toddler. Not going into detail as to why but it really depends on sentencingon how you will deal with it. 2 years and 20 years makes a big different on how you go about things but the one thing I can say is that knot will loosen in your belly and life will find a way back to being somewhat normal again.

Blessed Mama of Two (: Due May 1 (girl); 1 child; St Paul, Minnesota 325 posts
Apr 20th '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting elisabeth♡:</b>" He was the best dad that he could be before he left.... he loves her. I just can't believe this."</blockquote>

My SO has a criminal history & got in trouble while on probation, so he's got anywhere from 18-60 months to do. We don't find out until June 13th how much time he'll be doing. We've got an almost 2 year old boy, & our daughter will be born April 26th :( it is very very hard, & so saddening for the kids. My SO is an incredible father, to say the least it just sucks that when it comes to himself he makes such poor decisions. He's only 21 & was doing so well in school pt, & working ft.. Then ended up getting in trouble again *sighs*. I hate he has to be there but I believe he needs this in order to truly change his ways (getting into deep shit wise) I feel bad for him, & especially for our children but I know he did this to himself so I don't feel totally bad (sounds harsh, but it's the truth). We write, talk on the phone, & I send pictures of our son, u/s & belly pictures of our daughter at least every 2-3 weeks, we haven't yet gotten to set up visiting as he is still in intake but before he got sent to prison, DS & I did go visit him at the county jail which has up to 4hrs of visiting & the only thing between us was a glass window. So it was nice! It'll be nice once he's out of intake, & we can have contact visits.

Party of 6 4 kids; Nevada 7871 posts
Apr 20th '13

I was in your position with my daughter's biological dad. His drug problem came out right after we got married when I was 4 months pregnant. It all went downhill from there. He never really wanted or cared to be around while he was on drugs unless he needed money or something from me. When he finally went to prison, I no longer wanted anything to do with him because of everything he had put my daughter and I through over the course of his addiction. I was relieved though because I hoped one day he could get it together enough to at least try to be a good father.
I was a single mom for the first 2 years of my daughter's life. Honestly, to me, it was almost easier. I never had to deal with the fighting about who was going to wake up with the baby tonight or any of the other responsibilities I know parents sometimes argue over. I knew I had to do it all. The hardest part for me to deal with was not having that person there to share all of her milestones. That even got easier though. I have since moved on and he has gone above and beyond anything I ever expected from a father, let alone a step father. It does get easier though. I am here if you ever need to talk.

*Ay&Ryker's Mommy* Due January 14 (boy); 1 child; Kentucky 364 posts
Apr 21st '13

It's hard but you can make it through it. My husband was in prison for two years and we pulled through, we don't have any children together. You can visit him once he is sent to an actual prison, more than likely you will have contact visits depending where he is sent to. I always sent lots of pictures and cards and letters to him, we would talk on the phone at least once a day.. I know how lonely it can get but if you decide to ride it out with him, your relationship will be stronger in the end.. Good luck momma...

ThreeLittleBirds 4 kids; Pueblo West, CO, United States 1057 posts
Apr 21st '13

I know our situations are not nearly the same. But, before SO I was a single parent of three. If I can do it, you can. I'm not saying it will be easy, but you will do great I'm sure.

Mrs.Mud 6 kids; 2 angel babies; North Dakota 3314 posts
Apr 21st '13

I'm sorry. :(
My (now) ex-husband went to prison/treatment when our second son was 7 days old. We also had a 22-month-old. He was gone 1 year and 1 week so he missed a lot, but I visited as often as I could (even when he was 1.5 hours away I was there at least once a week). Once he got to the halfway-house for his last couple months, we even got to bring him home for a couple hours at a time. It will get better. As long as he's "good", he'll have visitation privileges and eventually be moved to a lower security place. It does suck, but he has to face the consequences of his actions. Hopefully he'll learn his lesson and be able to be a great partner and daddy when he's released.

MysticWitchKat 2052 posts
Apr 21st '13

God, I thought this said "sex in prison" for second XD.