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Ellie. 2 kids; Arizona 25443 posts
Jan 3rd '13
Quoting Mary.:" I must be bad, cause ive said go the f**k to sleep multiple times. i do not say f**k you, or you little ... [snip!] ... f**k you, or you little b***h, or anything like that, not even to their father, but we do use swears as adjectives and adverbs."


That's the thing... most swear words have become a normal part of vocabulary, as opposed to a degrading term. It's so commonplace to hear them in random every day conversation. Even on TV, radio, billboards, etc. I can hear the word ass or b***h at any time on tv/radio

Mrs.Dani Due July 3; 1 child; 3 angel babies; Oxnard, California 10272 posts
Jan 3rd '13

I don't swear at mine but my SIL does to hers. My poor niece is traumatized, anytime her mom even starts to raise her voice (even if it's not to her) she starts crying and gets scared. Just yesterday SIL told her to shut the f**k up and that she wished she would go to her f**king dads so she didn't have to deal with her.

Capt Plzen, Pl, Czech Republic 9110 posts
Jan 3rd '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs.Dani:</b>" I don't swear at mine but my SIL does to hers. My poor niece is traumatized, anytime her mom even starts ... [snip!] ... SIL told her to shut the f**k up and that she wished she would go to her f**king dads so she didn't have to deal with her. "</blockquote>



See to me I don't see the swears as the big issue there. Its probably the meaning of her words and the look on her face plus the anger in her voice that scared the child.

Mrs.Dani Due July 3; 1 child; 3 angel babies; Oxnard, California 10272 posts
Jan 3rd '13
Quoting Mary.:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs.Dani:</b>" I don't swear at mine but my SIL does to hers. ... [snip!] ... issue there. Its probably the meaning of her words and the look on her face plus the anger in her voice that scared the child."


I don't think the scaring is from just swearing. SIL gets in fights a lot. I guess the scaring part was unneeded.

Mom of Tristan/Rayah/Keat 3 kids; Alberta 2068 posts
Jan 3rd '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting .Colleen.:</b>" Coming from a home that had parental fighting in front of children, I want to suggest you seriously ... [snip!] ... associated with them. I have never found any benefit to having children witness their parents arguing in this manner."</blockquote>




I won't rethink it as I too came from a home the the parents argued. They were never abusuve towards each other. Just simple marital spats. It isn't like and my husband argue all the time. If it about our relationship it is done in private cause they don't need to hear it. But if we are having a conversation and something comes out of it that can't be controlled.



This is who Iam and and things do happen.

Mom of Tristan/Rayah/Keat 3 kids; Alberta 2068 posts
Jan 3rd '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs.Dani:</b>" I don't swear at mine but my SIL does to hers. My poor niece is traumatized, anytime her mom even starts ... [snip!] ... SIL told her to shut the f**k up and that she wished she would go to her f**king dads so she didn't have to deal with her. "</blockquote>




I would be traumatized to if my parents told me that. It isn't the swears that are bothering your niece it is the context and other words your sister is using. Maybe your niece would be better off at her Dad's if her mother treats her like that.

Ellie. 2 kids; Arizona 25443 posts
Jan 3rd '13
Quoting Mom of Tristan/Rayah +1:" <blockquote><b>Quoting .Colleen.:</b>" Coming from a home that had parental fighting ... [snip!] ... are having a conversation and something comes out of it that can't be controlled. This is who Iam and and things do happen."


Why not just take it to the other room when things get heated though?

Mom of Tristan/Rayah/Keat 3 kids; Alberta 2068 posts
Jan 3rd '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Man. Bear. Pig.:</b>" Why not just take it to the other room when things get heated though?"</blockquote>



If you guys actually knew me you would know that I'm a pretty level headed person and wouldn't put my children in any danger. When the arguments are heated and dependent on the situation they are taken else where. But if we are having a conversation the feeling are stated and that is it.



I don't need to take advise from someone that doesn't know me and my upbringing. I'm not traumatized because my parents had some sort of marital spat. I don't call my kids names, I swear but don't use it in a way that will harm them. I don't believe our arguments that don't happen very often will hurt them. If it was everyday continually me and my husband probably would be getting a divorce as then there is something wrong with our relationship.



As well my children are very well rounded happy kids.

Mrs.Dani Due July 3; 1 child; 3 angel babies; Oxnard, California 10272 posts
Jan 3rd '13
Quoting Mom of Tristan/Rayah +1:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs.Dani:</b>" I don't swear at mine but my SIL does to hers. ... [snip!] ... and other words your sister is using. Maybe your niece would be better off at her Dad's if her mother treats her like that."


Sometimes I don't know. SIL is a nutjob. Her dad tried getting more custody over her so she would be with him for 3 months then her mom 2 weeks. He wants to move her to another city so he can be with his girlfriend who is pregnant.

♥ Letters to Alice 1 child; Medford, Minnesota 3788 posts
Jan 3rd '13

Op: His argument of "it's just words" may be true, but so are "Ugly" "Fat" "Stupid"... etc. They hurt.. and by using "f**king" or others in a manner of upset, it makes the child feel like they are disappointing mom and dad, or whoever.

624582 Neilton, Washington 9312 posts
Jan 3rd '13

I've never sweared at my child, ever. But, I am very guilty of swearing around him. I was doing really good until I got frustrated on our family trip while trying to put on his new shoes and I couldn't get them on. I walked away and told my husband "I can't do that f**king shit". DH put on DS's shoes, buckled him in the car and when we were pulling away from the hotel DS said "f**king shit!".



Clearly I have a horrible mouth that I need to work on, but I've never called my son anything or told him to go pick up his f**king room.

Lois. 1 child; Pennsylvania 2653 posts
Jan 3rd '13

My parents have never watched their mouths around me. My dad has a horrible potty mouth. Both of my parents have sworn at me many times. I turned out just fine. It didn't f**k with my head at all. It's just a word, I don't see what the huge deal is.

Back to Noob Status Ohio 14048 posts
Jan 3rd '13

My mom swears at us. :lol: Little shits, dumb asses, lol.

Pinkie Pie Washington 603 posts
Jan 3rd '13

Nope. Not at, and not around.



I don't really swear aloud at all. Just occasionally on the internet.



And yeah, I'm super-judgy when I hear people swearing left and right around or especially at their kids. It's beyond trashy.

Mama Rice 34 kids; North Las Vegas, Nevada 11987 posts
Jan 3rd '13

I swear around them and about them sometimes (I get frustrated if they are not cleaning up and may pull the "damn it guys just clean up" after asking them several times). I have referred to them as pains in my ass before too. But it is emotionally hurtful to call someone names like b***h, the C word (one word I won't say, the N word is the only other one), etc.