advice needed Cute0aza0button 1 child; lol, np, Canada 16278 posts
Dec 27th '12

My ex and I split a little over a month ago. it was pretty traumatic tbh - police called, i ended up in a shelter, he had to get an evaluation done in a psych ward. there was domestic violence in front of our 2.5 year old. i have not seen him since. she has decided "daddy is at work". Now when the person Im living with leaves for work she is a mess.
how do i tell her daddy is not at work? Im afraid she wont understand or, worse, wont be able to communicate any questions or emotional responses she might have

user banned 2 kids; Hamilton, Ontario 19220 posts
Dec 27th '12

she probably wont be able to communicate her confussion to you, but you can still start with honesty by telling her 'No, daddys not at work, daddy is at......."

Who are you living with? Like if its your girlfriend or mother etc, you should be able to teach her the difference between daddy and them, or take her to the work place so she can see it instead of just hearing about it KWIM

✩ Silver 100281 posts
Dec 27th '12

Has he chosen to remove himself from her life?

I would just tell her that daddy had to go away for awhile but that he loves her very much and maybe explain it to her better when she get's older and can understand more?


Summerfrost 51 kids; Massachusetts 6871 posts
Dec 27th '12

I'd just keep it simple. Explain that daddy got in trouble and he can't come back. SO isn't in trouble and he just goes to work and can come home when he's finished. You might have to rephrase it a bunch of ways before she gets it and you might think some of the questions she asks don't make sense, but I've always found that honesty is the best way to go if you can.

JessicaMatlock:) Due May 7 (boy); 1 child; Modesto, California 1337 posts
Dec 27th '12

when kaylee was 2.5 i always told her that her dad just wasnt around.. and i didnt know where he was.. shes 5.5 now and she knows hes in jail.. and she actually asked why her dad keeps telling her shes in time out when he writes her letters because time out isnt jail.. (he sends the letters to his mom..) she honestly could care less about him anymore.. but she hasnt seen him in years.. she loves him but she has no interest of seeing him or spending any long amounts of time with him.. i terll her its her choice..