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Sour Daisy 1 child; Kennewick, Washington 7251 posts
Dec 27th '12

My heart is broken for you Darah. I'm so sorry ;(

Mrs. Conan O'Brien 3 kids; Colorado 21081 posts
Dec 28th '12

That is just so fucked up. Do they completely ignore you when you try to contact them today? :(

user banned Colorado 21030 posts
Dec 28th '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting

Mrs. Conan O'Brien 3 kids; Colorado 21081 posts
Dec 28th '12
Quoting ♥ darah ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting
whoknowsx New York, 1185 posts
Dec 29th '12

I'm so torn. I was adopted and I am grateful that my mother didnt chose to abort me but at the same time I personally know that me giving my child up would feel worse than an abortion to me.



I don't know what to say. I hope you find some sense of healing. Please know that your child is glad to be alive.



xx

user banned Colorado 21030 posts
Dec 30th '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting

user banned Colorado 21030 posts
Dec 30th '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting whoknowsx:</b>" I'm so torn. I was adopted and I am grateful that my mother didnt chose to abort me but at the same time ... [snip!] ... to me. I don't know what to say. I hope you find some sense of healing. Please know that your child is glad to be alive. xx"</blockquote>



do you talk to your birth mom?or ever want to?

♥Mj&Daryl♥ (boy); 2 kids; Spokane, Washington 2392 posts
Dec 30th '12
Quoting ♥ darah ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting whoknowsx:</b>" I'm so torn. I was adopted and I am grateful ... [snip!] ... Please know that your child is glad to be alive. xx"</blockquote> do you talk to your birth mom?or ever want to?"

Well, my Mom adopted 5 of us. But then again, she didn't really go through an agency and she didn't have to pay anything to get us- her husband was native so that's how she got us. (People still look at us funny when I call her Mom because I'm full Native and she's the whitest woman you'll ever know). When I was younger, I didn't want to talk to my birth parents, because I was confused and I never really had that desire (but my birth parents also made plans to see me, and my brother and I would wait all day, and they would never show) so I guess I quit waiting and quit wanting to wait. Now that I'm older, yes, I wish I could have had that connection, I guess. I mean, I don't have very many memories from when I was with them (I was adopted at 2), now I wish I would have known more.



But my Mom would have NEVER closed an adoption unless it was in the best interest of us (and at a time- it became what we needed in order to heal). I am so sorry that you are going through all of that, those people sound horrid! I'm sorry that you feel that way about adoption- I know that being on this side of adoption- that sometimes it is the very best for a child to be adopted. I wish there was a way that I could help. I hope that one day you will be able to heal and that one day you will be able to see your LO when they are ready.

Mrs. Conan O'Brien 3 kids; Colorado 21081 posts
Dec 30th '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting ♥ darah ♥:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting

whoknowsx New York, 1185 posts
Dec 30th '12
Quoting ♥ darah ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting whoknowsx:</b>" I'm so torn. I was adopted and I am grateful ... [snip!] ... Please know that your child is glad to be alive. xx"</blockquote> do you talk to your birth mom?or ever want to?"


Whats funny is that my bio mom and I live within 2miles of each other in NYC. I have always had a "relationship" with her when she wanted one but I wont lie, I did grow up resenting her. Alot of that has to do with broken promises from her to me... and because she acts like she is doing me a favor for being in my life.



I am now at the age and maturity that I realize that her recognizing that she could not care for me was a selfless decision and I am able to forgive her and move forward.



I have friends who are adopted who also feel similarly. They have let go of any anger they may have had initially towards their birth moms and are at peace with the fact that we are all doing the best we can. I hope you can find peace too.

Mrs. Conan O'Brien 3 kids; Colorado 21081 posts
Dec 30th '12

my mom & uncle (so her brother) were adopted by my grandparents. I think my mom still wishes to this day that she had met her bioparents, but they never sought her out, & while she wanted to find them once she was 18, her brother was completely against it, so it kind of stopped her. I guess he'd stay stuff like, "for what? probably just whoring it out on a corner" :lol: (they had different sets of parents too, so... lol)

Blessed by Adoption X2 2 kids; Wisconsin 826 posts
Dec 31st '12

I'm sorry you had a bad experience. It's so sad when one party gets screwed over by the other. We went through an adoption scam and it broke our hearts. Unfortuantely, there are bad people on both sides. We we were really close to giving up on having a family all together, but we stuck through it and now have 2 beautiful boys through adoption. We have a great relationship with both birthfamilies.



i hope some day you are able to heal and you can have the relationship you want with your child's birthfamily.

user banned 4 kids; Mueang Phuket, Thailand 30487 posts
Jan 1st '13

im so sorry hun. Maybe when she is 18 she will come and find you or vice versa. HUGS momms.