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user banned Due July 3; 2 kids; Australia 14351 posts
Dec 22nd '12

Do you guys actually want to get married? I have been with my SO for nearly 8 years and we have almost 3 kids together, we have no plans to ever marry because 1. We cant afford to spend money on one day and 2. We dont see much of a point

The Master Due September 8; 2 kids; Perth, Australia 20023 posts
Dec 22nd '12
Quoting Legendary Amanda:" "wedding is a family present" lmao omg, you tell my 4 year old that and see what happens. "


Their children are quite young and probably didn't really understand.

S U Z I E 3 kids; Venezuela 18567 posts
Dec 22nd '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Dr. Paradigm Shift:</b>" f**k that. Forget what anyone else says about being married, etc..(.especially Americans on BG). It's ... [snip!] ... to please other people. If you're fine the way you are, so be it. Your relationship isn't about what anyone else thinks."</blockquote>




Exactly!!

The Master Due September 8; 2 kids; Perth, Australia 20023 posts
Dec 22nd '12
Quoting Mrs Somerhalder:" Do you guys actually want to get married? I have been with my SO for nearly 8 years and we have almost ... [snip!] ... together, we have no plans to ever marry because 1. We cant afford to spend money on one day and 2. We dont see much of a point"


I don't know really ... nothing in our lives would change at all. We're already next of kin, have a joint will, joint health/life insurance, joint money, own property and vehicles together. I just can't seem to (in my mind) justify sacrificing things for a single day that's not going to change a damn thing.

The Master Due September 8; 2 kids; Perth, Australia 20023 posts
Dec 22nd '12
Quoting Legendary Amanda:" It doesn't matter, for all I care throw the rings on and tell people you're married. When people put ... [snip!] ... it. Do you want your wedding more than your college books? I'm thinking no. You just aren't that kinda materialistic woman. "


There's just so many other things I need with that money. Our fridge is dying, DS is going to need a toddler bed soon, text books, SO's car is dying a slow death, and then just the usual bills. And I loathe the idea of taking out a personal loan to pay for it.

ma ♥ 1 child; California 63053 posts
Dec 22nd '12
Quoting Legendary Amanda:" "wedding is a family present" lmao omg, you tell my 4 year old that and see what happens. "


:lol::lol:

The Master Due September 8; 2 kids; Perth, Australia 20023 posts
Dec 22nd '12

I just feel like maybe I should let him go and be with someone who is willing to do these things for him. I'm also incredibly selfish in that I want a career, and want to further my schooling for a degree that has nothing to do with my chosen career path. He's stood by me through the whole thing and I can't even be bothered marrying him.



I feel like I've failed him

user banned 3 kids; Los Angeles, California 54034 posts
Dec 22nd '12
Quoting The (super kinky) Master:" I just feel like maybe I should let him go and be with someone who is willing to do these things for ... [snip!] ... career path. He's stood by me through the whole thing and I can't even be bothered marrying him. I feel like I've failed him"


If he's not pushing for a wedding, then he probably doesn't feel that way. And you know what? If he does, he can find the extra cash to get it done.



I think you're just kind of stuck in your head right now-really.

The Master Due September 8; 2 kids; Perth, Australia 20023 posts
Dec 22nd '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Dr. Paradigm Shift:</b>" If he's not pushing for a wedding, then he probably doesn't feel that way. And you know what? If he ... [snip!] ... what? If he does, he can find the extra cash to get it done. I think you're just kind of stuck in your head right now-really."</blockquote>




He wants yo get married though ... He just knows better than to push

user banned Due July 3; 2 kids; Australia 14351 posts
Dec 22nd '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting The (super kinky) Master:</b>" I just feel like maybe I should let him go and be with someone who is willing to do these things for ... [snip!] ... career path. He's stood by me through the whole thing and I can't even be bothered marrying him. I feel like I've failed him"</blockquote>




Why do you have to be the one to sacrifice something?

Klaus 2 kids; Mississippi 27050 posts
status Dec 22nd '12
Quoting The (super kinky) Master:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Dr. Paradigm Shift:</b>" If he's not pushing for a wedding, ... [snip!] ... in your head right now-really."</blockquote> He wants yo get married though ... He just knows better than to push"


If he's not pushing you, that just means he loves you more than he needs documentation of being married. You guys have been together for so long and made a commitment to each other by getting rings and filing the paperwork for your common law relationship. Marriage is the next step, but that doesn't mean that you have to take it now or ever. What matters is that you love each other and are committed to each other. Marriage is an extra. Honestly it sounds to me like you have a premature case of cold feet :)



If you guys do decide to get married, maybe you should put money back a little at a time. Like 50-100 a month for a year or so, until you have enough to do what you want to do. I wouldn't sacrifice education or things for my son to get married.

user banned 3 kids; Los Angeles, California 54034 posts
Dec 22nd '12
Quoting The (super kinky) Master:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Dr. Paradigm Shift:</b>" If he's not pushing for a wedding, ... [snip!] ... in your head right now-really."</blockquote> He wants yo get married though ... He just knows better than to push"


I'm sure you both want to-but maybe some other stuff needs to sort itself out first and then you can have the wedding you want, and not just the wedding you feel like you have to have.

Sheldon Cooper Uruguay 775 posts
Dec 23rd '12

If you feel like its something important to both of you but time isn't a huge issue. Why don't you set aside a small amount every month towards getting married? I mean something that isn't going to make life any harder. Just an example but if you put $25 up a month you could have a wedding in two years. But that's only if its what you could afford. Only get married if YOU want to, don't let people pressure you. It's not their life and not their business.

Monkey Nuts Australia 4572 posts
Dec 23rd '12

I don't have the best self esteem.




But girl your sense of self worth is out of whack. Your not a bad person or a horrible partner for wanting to further yourself and for putting items that you NEED above trying to prove something to your family.



You need to get away from that toxic family of yours. It's sary how they make you doubt everything about yourself including your happy and loving relationship.

♥Manda♥ Sunnydale, CA, United States 29485 posts
Dec 23rd '12

If you want that piece of paper, have a wedding in your own backyard. Get a cheap celebrant. I've seen people do weddings for $250 at the cheapest and that's in Perth!



If its something that doesn't bother you either way then I'd do it personally.



And seriously, a family present? That's f**king disgusting, sorry but I find that horribly wrong, depriving your child of Christmas so you can get married and then trying to pawn it off as a family thing? The kids aren't getting married *roll*