Not to pry, but what happened to him? I grew up without either parent, was raised by my grandmother so I guess I relate in a way to feeling somewhat abandoned even though I'm "grown up" now, still hurts.
Quoting SailorJerry:" Not to pry, but what happened to him? I grew up without either parent, was raised by my grandmother ... [snip!] ... by my grandmother so I guess I relate in a way to feeling somewhat abandoned even though I'm "grown up" now, still hurts."
He had a massive heart attack and died suddenly.
I lost my dad almost 6 years ago. And recently I think about how he missed my graduation, my son, my marriage.... it sucks. We weren't super close but now that's he's gone I miss him a lot. My son's middle name is my dad's name, and I see so much of my dad in him. I know how spoiled and loved he would've been by my dad.
I'm sorry I'm rambling. Lol.
<blockquote><b>Quoting norah's.momma✿:</b>" He had a massive heart attack and died suddenly."</blockquote>
I'm sorry for your loss :(
Quoting Bubba Monster's Mommy:" I lost my dad almost 6 years ago. And recently I think about how he missed my graduation, my son, my ... [snip!] ... and I see so much of my dad in him. I know how spoiled and loved he would've been by my dad. I'm sorry I'm rambling. Lol."
Same here. DD looks just like my dad. We were close but when it happened I just tried to pretend like it wasn't a big deal. Now I'm just fucked up.
One thing you should NEVER do is hold it in! I held my emotions in after my dad died for months and finally broke down after I had my daughter. Talk to anyone... Just talk whether they understand or not. My daughter doesn't understand but its someone to talk too. I am sorry for your loss hun!
SO's dad committed sucide when he was 11 & he is now 31 and has never fully dealt with it yet. He gets really bad around the holidays. I would suggest talking to a councilor someone who can help you sort out your feelings
I am not sure if it is just hitting you or hitting you on a new level. According to your "about me' section it says you are 20 - so you would have been about 9/10 when you lost him? You can't possibly actually process all of your feelings about it then because feelings are ongoing - because you only had the feelings of a child who lost her father - then you were a teen who lost her father and had to process that stage of it & now you are a woman & mother. You change & therefore you have to kind of reprocess grief. Dh was in his 30's before we had kids & that brought up some things to process about loosing his father & his father had been gone 20 yrs.
You do need to be able to talk about it. I think it might be good for you too to consider writing it out in a journal - like you are writing letters to him.
I am sorry for your loss momma. It never really heals you just learn how to live with it.
I'm sorry for your loss. It sucks that your mom doesn't appreciate you. I'm sure your dad would have given anything to Be in her place and be with you.
I know how you feel about not talking to anyone my mom left my brother and I 11 years ago and I don't talk to anyone about it cuz I feel like no one will understand and when I did talk about it they would just say well she's still your mom bla bla yeah a mom doesn't leave her kids for a man who has more money wtf :/
Anyway that what this site if for Hun let it all out
i am so sorry for you lost and i am here if you need to talk i lost my dad at 15 he never got see anything like my sweet 16 , my 18th birthday my sons being born or anything my marriage but it failed now my daughter being born here in about 2 months but i remember it like yesterday . when i was a kid he made me promise i would name my first girl after my mom witch i am her and my mo will have the same middle name and my baby boy has his middle name as his so thats just one way i will remember him :)