Am I a bad DIL? Annabelle's Mommy :) 1 child; Florida 15 posts
Dec 3rd '12

I have to tell you a little bit about the past first. When I met DH he was living at home but him and his parents were not on good terms. His dad travels for work and is almost never here. He lived in a different city than me but it is only about 45 mins away. We got engaged and he moved here to my city. Then him and his parents became on good terms again. We spent holidays together and even went down there all the time just to go and be with them. Then I got pregnant and things were even better. They were so excited because it was their first grandchild. We got married and they came to the wedding. Then we had DD and his mom and sister were both in the room when I had her. It's been about a year and a half now since we got married and his 16 year sister is pregnant and his parents never call unless they want something or they are 'in town' doing something and want to stop by. DH always has to call them to talk. Well the weekend before Thanksgiving came and they were in town running errands and wanted to stop by. They stayed for maybe 30 minutes. When Thanksgiving week came I kept asking DH have you asked your parents when we're having Thanksgiving with them because I knew his dad came home and I thought he would want to see his granddaughter. His reply "no". So I let it go. Thanksgiving day came and we had no plans. DH's brother called and asked if we were coming down for Thanksgiving and DH says "no we weren't invited". The next day we went to my Aunts house to have Thanksgiving with my family and DH's dad calls and asks him if he wants to go hunting with him the next day. This just pissed me off. But DH decided to go. I just don't understand how that day after Thanksgiving his is going to call and want to go hunting with DH but yet he doesn't want to see his granddaughter. He left the following Monday to go back to work out of town. On the other hand, my mom watches DD everyday and his mom doesn't work so she could come see her whenever she wants to but she only done it once and when she did she took her to the mall. I don't even want to know how Christmas is going to go. But does this make me a bad DIL? I mean I don't know how to fix this problem when they act like they don't care.

heygirlheyyy♥ 1 child; Iowa 1303 posts
Dec 3rd '12

No you're not keeping the baby from them, they are choosing not to spend time with their grand child.

Blythe. 1 child; Indiana 23001 posts
Dec 3rd '12

honestly if I know my parents are doing a dinner for thanksgiving I don't need an invitation. I would just show up. Do you ever just go over there and visit instead of waiting for them to come to you?

Emmy's Mom 1 child; Indiana 1831 posts
Dec 3rd '12

I have virtually the same problem with my husbands family! I wish I could help but I feel just as lost as you do.

They constantly promise they are going to come around more and never do, and when they do manage its a 10-20 minutes stay. Dd likes everyone she meets including strangers... But for whatever reason she cries everytime they come around.

♥Mrs.Garcia 18 kids; Houston, Texas 13802 posts
Dec 3rd '12

ya its messed up a little, maybe they automatically assumed you were going to come. At least they see you when they go in town. mine doesnt. I wouldnt be too upset about it. have your husband talk to them if it bothers you. You didnt do anything wrong so you are not a bad dil.

Juliette 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Olive Branch, MS, United States 3015 posts
Dec 3rd '12

I Dont see how it would make you a bad dil but I do know with my family and my husbands we have to call them and go see them. Its just the way it is. I call them and ask what we are doing for holidays. If I sat around and waited there would be no invitations or relationship. Its just how it is.