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.......... Party of FIVE! 3 kids; Romania 37572 posts
Nov 29th '12

All gone. :)

Hairspray 18 kids; Ohio 7397 posts
Nov 29th '12

Can you post it?

Not here to please you 3 kids; Jacksonville, Florida 2214 posts
Nov 29th '12
Quoting Hairspray:" Can you post it?"


:!:

Gabrielle Hamblin Due June 26 (girl); 2 kids; 3 angel babies; Buffalo, Texas 393 posts
Nov 29th '12

Yes can you?

Bri + 1.5 <3 Due October 20 (girl); 1 child; Florida 4350 posts
Nov 29th '12

If you don't want to post it, PM a few of us to get a some different opinions.

Party of FIVE! 3 kids; Romania 37572 posts
Nov 29th '12

Posted. :oops:

FutureMommyof2 Due June 5; 1 child; Charlotte, North Carolina 1035 posts
Nov 29th '12

The article is amazing. I did see a few minor spelling typos but otherwise it's beautifully written. Sorry you went through all that, but so glad to hear that you found a great man to be by your side and were healed by a birth in your own terms.

*101314* 2 kids; 1 angel baby; x*x, OH, United States 4357 posts
Nov 29th '12

I am truly at a loss for words. You are an amazing woman! And im soooo sorry you went thru that :(

Christine_Elizabeth Due August 12 (boy); 4 kids; 1 angel baby; St. Petersburg, FL, United States 7405 posts
Nov 29th '12

I read the whole thing. I think it's great. There are a few wording things and such I would change, but it's from your heart and written wonderfully, so I would say don't change it. It's from your heart. I think it's great.



And I'm sorry you went through all that. I too was a victim of rape at 16 and also felt uncomfortable at some of my first appointments, especially with a male provider. I've read a lot of women, some who do not have a past of sexual assault, still feel violated during the birthing process and I think it's definitely something that needs more attention and that providers should be more considerate of.



Anyway, I think it's wonderful. You're very strong for writing it.

Bri + 1.5 <3 Due October 20 (girl); 1 child; Florida 4350 posts
Nov 29th '12

I had chills the entire time I was reading this. You did a wonderful job & I saw very few errors. I'm so sorry you had to go through all of this. :(




You're very strong for writing about this & I'm sure it will help a lot of people.

Gabrielle Hamblin Due June 26 (girl); 2 kids; 3 angel babies; Buffalo, Texas 393 posts
Nov 29th '12

Ur not alone I have been there. It is very hard..... U got sum guts thats for sure. I can't even talk about mine. It still haunts me to this day.......

RonniG Due July 19; 1 child; Plentywood, Montana 2036 posts
Nov 29th '12

Your story is great but you aren't a very good writer. It flows terribly and is full of grammatical errors as well as style errors. I hope you don't actually get paid to write. Not trying to be super mean. You asked my opinion. I gave it.

Historymomma 2 kids; La Grange, North Carolina 403 posts
Nov 29th '12

This is a lovely story, but if it is for publication, you have some work to do. I am not trying to attack or come off rude, but you asked for insight on the actual writing, so I am going to give some advice.
You have multiple spelling errors. The sentences are difficult to read, as then are choppy and you have written many sentence fragments (incomplete sentences). You cannot start sentences with conjunctions (ex:, and or but). Many sentences require commas; read your work out loud and where you pause, within a sentence, consider putting a comma. Again, if this going to publish, I would consider rewording as to avoid using passive voice, and get rid of any contractions.
I would print out the article, and give it to multiple people for proof reading. The story needs developing, but good start!

Party of FIVE! 3 kids; Romania 37572 posts
Nov 29th '12
Quoting RonniG:" Your story is great but you aren't a very good writer. It flows terribly and is full of grammatical errors ... [snip!] ... as style errors. I hope you don't actually get paid to write. Not trying to be super mean. You asked my opinion. I gave it."


No, I do not get paid to write. That was kinda bitchy of you. But could you please tell me the errors. I know I am not a great writer, hence WHY I asked. I do this for a site that helps women.

Drew Peacock TTC since Jun 2012; United Kingdom 349 posts
Nov 29th '12

44% of women under the age of 18 have not been raped it's 44% of women who have been raped are under 18. Don't start your piece with wildy inaccurate statements it made me mistrustful (not the right word but I can't think of a better one, it's been a long day) of the rest.



Apart from that the rest of the article/story was very heartfelt and I really feel for you and what you have been through.



Edit: http://www.rainn.org/get-information/statistics/sexual-assault-victims