ok so the father and i are not together. i tried making it work but...its a lost cause. my daughter (she's a month old) and i live with my parents. (i moved back in when i was 7 months pregnant) i receive food stamps, my daughter has medicaid, and i believe i do too (im a bit confused as to when mine runs out or how much it covers...anyone who might be able to help me more than the medicaid office please PM me) and i'e also applied for cash assistance. now i am applying for jobs so i can pay for my certification as an M.A. so im not milking the system guys! lol i just need a little help for now. BD is 17, decided to drop out of H.S., isn't working, nor is he making plans to look for a job. he claims he's found a job buuuut he's not working so i dont believe him at all. anyways, would he be pursued to pay child support if i dont file anything? i read somewhere that he does if im getting any government help...he signed her birth certificate at the hospital and the papers talking about parental rights and responsibilities... he demands to see her all the time but hes not willing to come visit her here, and im honestly not comfortable leaving my daughter at their house (they have bedbugs and a roach problem. not the cleanest place for a newborn..) so far HIS FATHER (because baby daddy has no income nor does he try getting one) has bought her 4 packs of ready to feed formula and a pack of diapers. only because i had to badger BD for it during 2 weeks. so how would this all work? and do i have any right to well not deny him seeing her, but refusing to take her there?
when you go through your re-certification for foodstamps they will tell you that you have to go through CS.
my SIL wasn't able to get foodstamps because she wouldn't cooperate with them.
if i were you i would file for CS, but that's just me.
well I'm in Kansas, and I know if you file for cash assistance through the state, you MUST also cooperate with child support enforcement. At that point, it's out of your hands and the state goes after him.
If his house is really unclean and full of bugs, do NOT let her go there. You have a responsiblity to protect your child. If he doesn't agree, let him hash it out with the courts over vistation.
Not sure why you want to WAIT to get child support from him.. There's a reason it's mandatory that you use child support enforcement if you're on government assistance.. any money they can get out of the other parent is less money that the state gives you. Don't feel guilty putting him on CS enforcement.. he made the baby with you he can take care of her, too. As far as not letting him see her if he doesn't give you CS, that's a NO-NO. He's not PAYING you to spend time with his child.. my ex hasn't paid me in 6 months but I can't tell him he's not allowed to see my daughter unless he pays me. Since (im assuming) you do not have any custody paperwork set up yet, you don't have to let your daughter go to his house.. she lives with you, you're mom, your rules for now. If and when you ever DO get custody paperwork set up you can always request that DCF visit the house because you don't think it's a safe or healthy environment for your child. If it's like you say it is, they'll set up alternative visitation places. But please seriously.. contact child support enforcement!!
Quoting loser mom:" well I'm in Kansas, and I know if you file for cash assistance through the state, you MUST also cooperate ... [snip!] ... You have a responsiblity to protect your child. If he doesn't agree, let him hash it out with the courts over vistation. "
This!... And i can't say what the laws are in Fl. But it is generally pretty standard that even though he has signed the bc and the paternity affidavit does not give him any sort of legal right to have visitation and is only legal in the courts eyes for cs enforcement. Most courts require will require a parenting plan if he wants to fight you on the visitation. My suggestion would be to cooperate with the state and to file a parenting plan of your own.
i see, its not so much that im waiting to contact CS im just really not sure how to go about it. I dont feel guilty i feel if he wants to throw around his "rights as a father" he needs to remember his responsibilities as well. I have no problem him coming to see her honestly. My parent on the other hand, arent too keen on having him here. They are very old school and idk i guess they feel he hasnt earned the right to demand when to see her. he was allowed here before, but he came knocking on our door at 2am one night being belligerent after fighting with me and that was extremely disrespectful to them. In one month he came here to see her 3 times and i've brought her to him 3 times. every time i took her to him tho, its caused a riff between my parents and i. they feel that im making it too easy for him. they say "think about it. his "woman" and his daughter are completely taken care of. roof over their heads, food in their stomachs, rides to dr appts, baby sitter when you have to run errands and cant take baby along AND he gets to see them both whenever he wants. why would he try to look for a job or support them at all if he gets it all without lifting a finger?" and im starting to see their point... im not trying to deny him from seeing his kid, but im not trying to cause turmoil in my home either. My parents are the only stable, safe, support system we have, and i dont want to tear my family apart over BD's tantrums. am i wrong here?
Quoting Jessica517:" i see, its not so much that im waiting to contact CS im just really not sure how to go about it. I dont ... [snip!] ... the only stable, safe, support system we have, and i dont want to tear my family apart over BD's tantrums. am i wrong here? :?"
well it's not up to your parents who gets to see YOUR child (especially the father of the baby)... why don't you guys go to the park or something?
Baby daddy isn't making it easy either. he wants to see the baby at his house only. isn't willing to meet me halfway.
Quoting Jessica517:" Baby daddy isn't making it easy either. he wants to see the baby at his house only. isn't willing to meet me halfway."
just be honest about it, tell him the house is filthy and you're not willing to bring bed bugs home. It'll probably piss him off, but oh well.
I can understand your parents being upset by the situation, however if you both don't want her to go to his house to see him you really need to work something out. If they wont let him over maybe it's best you meet up somewhere. Although he technically has no rights to her at this moment doesn't mean he can't fight for some rights. It would probably be in your best interest to find a common ground when it comes to visitation so when and if the time comes you go to court it doesn't get nasty or worse he gets to have her at his house without you. I mean unless he is proven unfit he will get some sort of visitation court orderd if he fights for it. Maybe he can try saying he is sorry to your parents. I am sure they would much rather have him there at your house then his.
If he isn't willing to meet half way than I would tell him where to shove it. I would never let any of my kids go to a house like that. Maybe you should take her there one day so you can get lots of pictures if the time ever does come where he wants to fight for visitation. As of right now he has zero rights to her without going through the courts.
He thinks he shouldn't have to apologize to them smh. i already told he'll have to apologize to them cause im not bringing her over there due to the bed bugs. he's pissed but whatever. i just wanted to know what rights he has as of right now and how child support would come about.