For stay at home moms... grr, argh 1 child; Ohio 385 posts
Nov 20th '12

What do you say to the people who dont consider being a stay at home mom a job? I love my mommy job, taking care of my son and the house and my husband, but its a tough job for sure, and gets very stressful at times. I think that being a stay at home mom is every bit as important as my husbands full time job. However, I always get the people who dont see it that way. For example, the other day I was at the hospital for a heart ultrasound and the nurse who was taking my info asked if I was employed, I said no. Then she asked if I was in school, no, she then proceeded to say " dont do anything?" I told her I was a full time mom and she said "well, thats something I guess". To be honest I thought she was a bit rude, and when I came back in a few days later for blood work, I went through the same thing with a different nurse. Its just really aggravating sometimes when people make me feel like I do nothing, if I dont make money then its not a real job, bullshit. So how have you ladies dealt with these kind of people? Im having a hard time not flipping out on them, im just tired of the criticism. Any tips?
Edit: There are a few moms who are disagreeing on calling being a sahm a job, maybe job isnt quite the correct word. I guess what I was trying to say is that being a sahm isnt always easy, it can get quite demanding and stressful just like a "real" job. I think people get the idea that if I dont have a 'real' job then that must mean I sit on my ass all day and thats soo not the case. And no, I dont get paid for it but the amount I save from not having to pay for childcare is the equivalent imo. With that being said, I do consider myself lucky, being able to be with my son all day and not having to miss out on anything, it really is awesome. And I admire the working moms just as much as the sah ones, being away from your lo's must be hard (although,sometimes I do wish I had a job, just to get a break lol). I think we can all agree that just being a mom (whether you have a "real" job or not) is a challenge all on its own, rewarding but boy its hard sometimes.

nendhsiwjru 6 kids; Denver, Co, United States 37137 posts
Nov 20th '12

I simply do not give a f**k.

DH knows what I do...I know what I do.

The end.

JKR 2 kids; ---------------------, TX, United States 1550 posts
Nov 20th '12

I usually just do not say anything. I know what I do at home and my DH knows and that is all that matters.

Jennybananna 2 kids; Gilbert, AZ, United States 25079 posts
Nov 20th '12

I have never had anyone say anything to me. My husband makes great money and while I miss work there are two big reasons why I don't. Child Care is expensive especially with two kids I would basically work to pay the child care bill because I dont have a degree for a higher paying job. Also I want to spend these first few years with my kids before they go off to school and dont need mommy as much anymore. When they are in school I will go back myself. I think being a SAHM is fine while the kids are babies/toddlers.

PurpleBama582 52 kids; Dothan, Alabama 3875 posts
Nov 20th '12

I say "I'm lucky enough to be a stay at home mom." It kind of stops them in their tracks before they can get negative. It only works some of the time, but then I say "I don't have to miss out on their important stuff. I get to be there to help with homework, to take them to dance and gymnastics, to be involved with their school. Some people may not agree, but this is MY choice." If you thought it was rude, don't hesitate to call the DoN(Director of Nursing) and complain. It really helps if you get the names of these nurses.

ChubbyCheekers 2 kids; New York 3117 posts
Nov 20th '12

I would have come back with, "You don't have kids, do you?"

I agree though, that was very rude of her and I probably would have complained to her superiors. That's the kind of person I am, though. You don't owe anybody, especially complete strangers, an explanation...if your husband makes enough that you can comfortably stay home with your son, who is anybody else to judge? I'm not a SAHM myself, I actually admire women who can do this...I would personally go crazy.

Momma +2 Girls 2 kids; Indiana 3612 posts
Nov 20th '12

Idc what anyone thinks about it. We are fortunate enough that im able to stay home with my daughter, so what if i am unemployed?

homes cool Due July 25; 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Indiana 63165 posts
Nov 20th '12

This is what I say.

Whatev. I do what I do, my husband supports, I'm cool with that.

Jay,Joey&Jordyn'sMommy 3 kids; Baltimore, Maryland 1147 posts
Nov 20th '12

I was a stay at home mom for 2 years, and I can tell you that its so much harder than working at a job. I'm still "kind of" a stay at home mom, I'm home all week and work only on the weekends.

Stay at home moms don't get enough credit.

abcde 10877 posts
Nov 20th '12

wen i had ds i was staying home because i broke my foot. and decided not to go back to work after he was born. on his birth certificate.they put my occupation as home maker

Lotusmama Due March 31; British Columbia 1672 posts
Nov 20th '12
Quoting evilekat:" What do you say to the people who dont consider being a stay at home mom a job? "

I wouldn't say anything - I would just laugh. Clearly they haven't tried it! I went back to work full time when DD was 12m and my paid work is A LOT easier than being at home. I know lots of moms who work part time and they call thier paid jobs thier "time off" because it is so much easier than parenting! Unless you are operating heavy machinery or performing surgery there is no other job that requires you to stay 100% alert and focused on the task the way that parenting does. It is tiring! I have no idea how day care workers survive the day! I thank god for ours!

It's Delivered 33 kids; Georgia 15057 posts
Nov 20th '12

Your house your business.

I work 60 plus hours and do all that...Single.

*Danielle88*(( 2 kids; Atascadero, California 2354 posts
Nov 20th '12

ive just had to learn that they were raised with more emphasis on making money. on a career. and you were raised with more emphasis on making a home life. on taking care of your family. and to people like us, taking care of our families is worth way more than what we would get paid at any job. think about it this way... when they die they have nothing. money doesnt matter in the afterlife. but the experiences and memories you give your family will be with them even when you are gone. and thats more important than making any amount of money.

abcde 10877 posts
Nov 20th '12
Quoting Lotusmama:" I wouldn't say anything - I would just laugh. Clearly they haven't tried it! I went back to work full ... [snip!] ... the task the way that parenting does. It is tiring! I have no idea how day care workers survive the day! I thank god for ours!"

i agree. I work full time as a manager. and love ds but i definatly like being at work. it gives me a break. i think in the end its only harder because i feel like i now have two full time jobs and finding a balance isnt so easy

Lois. 1 child; Pennsylvania 2653 posts
Nov 20th '12

Honestly, I can see why people would think that way.
I think that way a TINY little bit too. I'm in college but I still feel like I'm not doing "enough." Well, that's why I'm in college, so I can be a WAHM when DD is born and not just a SAHM. I wouldn't feel good about myself if I wasn't doing "more."