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MysticWitchKat 2052 posts
Nov 20th '12
Quoting That Girl.:" Yes you are very right. I do need to address it head on. Maybe Ill cook a nice dinner and try to nicely ... [snip!] ... says it has nothing to do with me he just likes p**n. But then why does he replace our intimacy with p**n and his f**king hand."


I think you need to tell him "p**n or me" and that's that. Serious, when p**n takes priority over your so, something is f**king wrong.

EnnaBennaBanana Due January 21; 3 kids; Maryland 6203 posts
Nov 20th '12
Quoting That Girl.:" So me and dh haven't had sex in two weeks which is long for us. The reason is because I stopped being ... [snip!] ... no emotinonal feelings either. I feel like he's becoming sooo distant though he's saying he's not. What would you do?"


Talk to him about it. And let him know it turns me on when he initiates sex :)
Maybe he'd start doing it more. It could be since you always initiate it he got used to that and now he feels that since you aren't you don't want it either?

That Girl. 2 kids; Florida 4109 posts
Nov 20th '12
Quoting wombie:" p**n watching alone isn't an issue for me. However, in this case, I would have a huge problem. It should ... [snip!] ... It should never replace the intimacy a couple has together. I'm sorry this has become such an issue in your relationship :("


Thanks! I know that if I told him I want sex he'd be like okay. But in a sense I just feel like he is only having sex because I want it not because he wants it. I want to feel wanted and lately I feel like Im not. He doesn't do sweet gestures, we don't snuggle/cuddle we aren't lovey. We aren't affectionate at all. And at first I was okay with it. But now Im worried that he isn't into me. And the whole p**n thing just makes it feel 10 times worse.

EnnaBennaBanana Due January 21; 3 kids; Maryland 6203 posts
Nov 20th '12
Quoting That Girl.:" Your right. But I got tired of having to basically having to talk him into sex. He's also back to ... [snip!] ... back to watching p**n all the time and pleasuring himself. So that's most likely why he isn't even trying to have sex with me."


All marriages are different and my husband and I don't have p**n in our marriage for religious (and some non religious reasons) But I know alot of couples do and I'm not going to judge. However, if he is putting p**n before you I think that's a huge issue. I defanitly think you need to talk to him

wombie 4 kids; Zimbabwe 73281 posts
Nov 20th '12
Quoting That Girl.:" Thanks! I know that if I told him I want sex he'd be like okay. But in a sense I just feel like he is ... [snip!] ... first I was okay with it. But now Im worried that he isn't into me. And the whole p**n thing just makes it feel 10 times worse."


I would feel the same way :(



If I were you, I'd just go to him at a time when neither one of you are upset about anything......a neutral time, and let him know how you feel. Be sure to take his feelings into consideration as well so he doesn't think it's a one sided attack. Just let him know how important your relationship as a couple is to you and that you feel things could definitely be better with open communication. Acknowledge that there are things that both of you could work on to make your relationship stronger. And definitely address the p**n issue. Tell him that you feel it would be much more exciting if you two could watch it together and then be intimate with each other rather than him just watching it alone. I hope that he can understand where you're coming from if you present it to him in a non threatening way, ya know?



I hope he's receptive when you do try to address these issues with him <3

That Girl. 2 kids; Florida 4109 posts
Nov 20th '12
Quoting wombie:" I would feel the same way :( If I were you, I'd just go to him at a time when neither one of you are ... [snip!] ... it to him in a non threatening way, ya know? I hope he's receptive when you do try to address these issues with him <3"

I actually have watched it with him and tried that. Didn't work. He literally stared at the screen the WHOLE time while screwing me. Almost like he was trying to imagine being in the damn tv then with me.

wombie 4 kids; Zimbabwe 73281 posts
Nov 20th '12
Quoting That Girl.:" I actually have watched it with him and tried that. Didn't work. He literally stared at the screen the ... [snip!] ... stared at the screen the WHOLE time while screwing me. Almost like he was trying to imagine being in the damn tv then with me."


oh man! ok scratch that suggestion.



it really sounds like he's got some kind of p**n addiction going on, and if it's a true addiction, it won't go away on it's own :( Do you think he'd be open to counseling? Looking at p**n seems very innocent, but when it turns into an addiction it can be extremely destructive.....just like any addiction

That Girl. 2 kids; Florida 4109 posts
Nov 20th '12
Quoting wombie:" oh man! ok scratch that suggestion. it really sounds like he's got some kind of p**n addiction going ... [snip!] ... at p**n seems very innocent, but when it turns into an addiction it can be extremely destructive.....just like any addiction"


No. Counselling is a waste of time and money in his eyes. I'm seriously just at a witts end with him. He isn't putting any effort on our marriage. The one thing he actually helped me out with was putting ds down, he can't even do that he just lays with him on the couch passes out and I end up putting lo to bed. I am the only one who can wake up with ds everynight. He gets off of work at 12:30 p.m. and just f**ks around plays games, goes and hangs out with friends. When I try and talk to him about anything Im shut out or he says drop it Hailey Im not talking about this, or I dont give a f**k. I'm just drained physically, and emotionally and wish I just could go numb and feel nothing. It's all just buildng up and eventually Im going to explode.

EnnaBennaBanana Due January 21; 3 kids; Maryland 6203 posts
Nov 20th '12
Quoting That Girl.:" No. Counselling is a waste of time and money in his eyes. I'm seriously just at a witts end with him. ... [snip!] ... and emotionally and wish I just could go numb and feel nothing. It's all just buildng up and eventually Im going to explode."


...Theres a book called "The Love Dare" it helped my marriage alot. It gives you a dare daily for your marriage, if he doesn't wanna do it with you..you can do it without him knowing and it can really help your marriage. It def helped mine.. infact I think I should do it again sometime.

That Girl. 2 kids; Florida 4109 posts
Nov 20th '12
Quoting EnnaBennaBanana:" ...Theres a book called "The Love Dare" it helped my marriage alot. It gives you a dare daily for your ... [snip!] ... it without him knowing and it can really help your marriage. It def helped mine.. infact I think I should do it again sometime."


Oooh I might try this! I deff need some change. I always wonder if I had jumped into this too fast or too young etc.

wombie 4 kids; Zimbabwe 73281 posts
Nov 20th '12
Quoting That Girl.:" No. Counselling is a waste of time and money in his eyes. I'm seriously just at a witts end with him. ... [snip!] ... and emotionally and wish I just could go numb and feel nothing. It's all just buildng up and eventually Im going to explode."


that's not fair at all and I'm so sorry

EnnaBennaBanana Due January 21; 3 kids; Maryland 6203 posts
Nov 20th '12
Quoting That Girl.:" Oooh I might try this! I deff need some change. I always wonder if I had jumped into this too fast or too young etc."


I would def reccomend it... it helped alot but it is hard sometimes.. (some of the dares are hard when you don't feel very loving toward a person some days haha!)
but yeah it does have some religious talk in it.. but I know tons of people who aren't christian who use it and ignore the verses and what not and just do the dares. Just thought I'd share.