<blockquote><b>Quoting A❤T=P+[It's a Girl:</b>" Putting your children first, doesn't mean your marriage isn't also a priority. I think putting your husband first is a disservice to the children."</blockquote>
My children will always come first and I would hope that DH feels the same. Even after they've grown, they will still be my main priority. There is still so much more that we can teach our children as adults. I want to always be there for them and have them feel like they aren't burdening me, as I often feel with my dad..
My mom was hardly ever in my life to begin with and it hurts like hell.
<blockquote><b>Quoting she nan igans:</b>" Not necessarily. That isn't stated. A top priority means it comes before everything else. That includes ... [snip!] ... I think women are WAY to quick to shove their husbands into 2nd place and that it really does a disservice to families. "</blockquote>
:!: I agree with everything you've been saying.
I'm of the opinion that children ALWAYS come before a partner. Your children will always be your children, but an SO could ask for a divorce tomorrow.
But that's jmho.
Quoting ☮Sugar Magnolia:" I have a friend who's mom remarried when the friend was 18. Her mom always put the husband first, always. ... [snip!] ... Oh, and before anyone says "She should have her own car at 20" it was in the shop being fixed, she only went 2 days car-less."
Fucked up :evil:
<blockquote><b>Quoting ☮Sugar Magnolia:</b>" Absolutely not. :? Wtf? I'll always love her just as much as I do now, she will always be the most important."</blockquote>
My son will always be my baby even when he's 60
Quoting ☮Sugar Magnolia:" :lol::lol::lol:"
But yea I agree w/ part of what she said, like if I'm chilling w/ my husband at home & my kid calls & is all, "Uh... could you go buy me some milk at the store?" I'd laugh & hang up probably.
Quoting BαƚMαɳ:" Fucked up :evil:"
Tell me about it.
The next day she changed her number, email, and never spoke to her mother again. She left a message on her mother's door that said "Hope your husband was worth my mental, emotional, and physical well being. Even the rape didn't hurt as bad as the fact you were okay with risking it for a nice meal with your d**k of a husband. f**k you b***h, the only good you ever did for me was teach me everything to NOT be as a mother. You'll never speak to me again."
And I don't blame her one bit.
<blockquote><b>Quoting Commander Shepard:</b>" My children will always come first and I would hope that DH feels the same. Even after they've grown, ... [snip!] ... aren't burdening me, as I often feel with my dad.. My mom was hardly ever in my life to begin with and it hurts like hell."</blockquote>
I totally agree with this! My mom to this day isnt much help nor do I need anything from her but the essentials of a mothers is there from her part.
Quoting maegenn ♥[19weeks]:" My kids. Always my kids. Then DH. If I like him that day :) I don't know how a mother could think to choose her SO over her children."
Because she has generally a longer standing relationship then with her husband then her children :-P. Believe me it's pretty common in many places of the world for kids and so's to be valued the same at least.
Quoting Legendary Amanda:" <blockquote><b>Quoting she nan igans:</b>" Not necessarily. That isn't stated. A top ... [snip!] ... a sandwich before I pull my husband out of a burning building but my child's needs will always take precedent over my husbands."
I might be, but I've seen so many woman that really do mean that. They are SO wrapped up in their kids lives (before and after they move out) that they allow their entire relationship with the husband to diminish under the guise of kids being her "top priority." Because I believe that my marriage is a large part of our family success, it's in my kids best interest that I also keep their father happy and our marriage strong.
That's why I say I don't have a clear cut "priority" especially once they move out. They don't get every little thing they want from me, they have to split time and attention with their father adn I think it's good for them.
Also want to add that I am 21 and my mom is single, but even if she was dating (she plans to start shortly) she would never put a man before her flesh and blood. And when I have children, I will do the same.
Parenting is a lifelong duty. My grandparents still "parent" their children, even though they are in their late forties-60 years old. That's what part of being a parent is about.