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Commander Shepard TTC since Aug 2016; 2 kids; Jacksonville, Florida 6447 posts
Nov 2nd '12

I think it's great. This woman is very lucky to have such a supportive man who looks out for her. Breastfeeding has to work for mom and the baby. If it's not working for one, the other WILL NOT benefit from it. They tried and it didn't work, so they took the alternative. My daughter was formula fed after I failed at breastfeeding. There is nothing wrong with her. I never was made to feel like a horrible person for quitting. I wish I had a supportive partner in those stages, though.

Nancy Botwin 2 kids; Pennsylvania 2204 posts
Nov 2nd '12
Quoting TantricLemons:" It sounds to me like this mama has a great partner. He is working hard to give her a positive feeling ... [snip!] ... is to provide better support. And make breastfeeding possible for everyone, instead of this whole breast vs formula distraction"


You hit the nail on the head.



Countless times, I have been made to feel guily because of my choice to ff. My son was bf for a week. PPD, pain, exhaustion, and lack of support caused me to mix up that first bottle. Who knows, maybe if I would have stuck it out for another week, I would have a happy, healthy bf son. But it doesn't really matter to me because right now I have a happy, healthy ff son.

homes cool Due July 25; 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Indiana 63165 posts
Nov 2nd '12

I loved breastfeeding. I worked so hard to relactate, and I feel so passionate about it.



However, I think that it's all up to the individual family what really works best. I think it is so heartless & foolish to say that there is only one "right" way in terms of how to feed a child - same goes for cosleeping/etc.



I've said it before, and I'll say it again, "A mother's love runs much deeper than how she feeds her child."

AwkwardTurtle 34 kids; Syracuse, NY, United States 2085 posts
Nov 2nd '12

When i exclusiley BF for a full year, I felt like a prisoner and so alone. It always seemed to be me alone in a separate room, Bfing every hr while everyone else ate/talked/ventured out into the world. I feared being out somewhere and having to sit in a bathroom to feed, or go home with an angry infant. I always envied FF moms who could go about life as normal. Plus every hr feedings at night were exhausting. I want to FF this baby, but I cant afford it :( BF is wonderful, but its not so easy for everyone. Although I produced and physically BF with no issue, I think it took an emotional toll on me.

Crazyhazel89 1 child; Erie, Pennsylvania 3994 posts
Nov 2nd '12
Quoting BryarWoods:" When i exclusiley BF for a full year, I felt like a prisoner and so alone. It always seemed to be me ... [snip!] ... but its not so easy for everyone. Although I produced and physically BF with no issue, I think it took an emotional toll on me."

do you go in another room when you are just at home?? and you can feed in public...just wear a cover up or something (though i understand if you aren't comfortable with that....I'm not really...i've only done it a couple times)
what about pumping too....

AwkwardTurtle 34 kids; Syracuse, NY, United States 2085 posts
Nov 2nd '12
Quoting Christina Getty:" do you go in another room when you are just at home?? and you can feed in public...just wear a cover ... [snip!] ... if you aren't comfortable with that....I'm not really...i've only done it a couple times) what about pumping too...."


Well I was a teenager living at home, I would go into my/baby room to feed. House was always busy with people. I've never felt comfortable BF in public, just personal reasons. I did pump, but baby REFUSED to take a bottle, every bottle I tried.



Now married and in my twenties, hopefully im a little wiser this time and can make it work.

Mama Lizzy :] 1 child; Texas 5575 posts
Nov 2nd '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting BryarWoods:</b>" When i exclusiley BF for a full year, I felt like a prisoner and so alone. It always seemed to be me ... [snip!] ... but its not so easy for everyone. Although I produced and physically BF with no issue, I think it took an emotional toll on me."</blockquote>




I seriously hate how our society makes BF women feel uncomfortable doing it in public...I was very nervous and felt isolated at first too...after like 4-5 months I was like f**k it and started BFing everywhere....it was surprising how easy it became and I got so good at being discreet...I just wear a tank under a loose shirt...you can't see anything

clf33 2 kids; Massachusetts 1800 posts
Nov 2nd '12

My first son would not latch and I ended up exclusivly pumping, which was very tough. I cried for 2 weeks trying to get him to latch, but was not successful. Pumping was hard because it is something you have to stay on top of and do every 2 hours. I would get up and pump while my husband fed him the last bottle I pumped. I had to suppliment and it killed me, but we did it.

By the time he was a year I was able to donate to 3 other momma's who could not produce.

With my second, he latched right away and we nurse just fine. His appetite is very large and I really do not want to suppliment so I am trying to pump when possible.

BF'ing is not always easy...but as long as the child is being fed, what does it matter.

TheNuge 1 child; Pennsylvania 23152 posts
Nov 2nd '12
Quoting TantricLemons:" What do you think about this article? *************************************************************** ... [snip!] ... to feed a baby, people should be talking about the healthiest option for the family. That's in the best interest of the child."


I didnt read the entire post.
My husband was very glad i gave up BFing as it was a painful struggle. Being honest with myself, it was WAY too difficult from the start and i should have given up sooner.

ρiηkie ρie 3 kids; 3 angel babies; Kentucky 21902 posts
Nov 2nd '12

I personally loved it. I just went through the same thing. I wanted so badly to bf my LO and it took a lot for me to be able to feel comfortable with that decision and with the act as well due to deeply personal reasons. When LO just screamed at the breast 99% of the time and wasn't getting nearly enough when she did latch and getting next to no breast milk from pumping, she had lost almost a pound by the time she was 10 days old. Since I've reluctantly started her on formula she's above her birth weight now and is much happier. I felt like a giant failure though. I still do honestly. I'm trying not to feel that way but it's hard when everywhere I look I feel like I'm being told I am indeed a failure. It also makes me feel incredibly guilty that I didn't try to bf my DD even though it truly was the best decision at the time for many reasons. Reading this makes me feel a little better about the situation because he's right. Women shouldn't be made to feel badly because they can't breast feed, no matter what the reason.

Mama Lizzy :] 1 child; Texas 5575 posts
Nov 2nd '12

Jk...misread...my bad

GL♣PC♥BC 3 kids; Destin, FL, United States 9408 posts
Nov 2nd '12

I really feel the opposite about this article. Particularly because I was the only one out of all of my friends and family that breastfed. I feel like there is much more support for formula feeding moms.
One thing that irks me by the article was the father listing all of these things that are great about their lives now that they FF.. All of which equaled being away from the baby more.



Though after reading your comment, that is awesome that he is being so supportive towards his wife in saying breast feeding is the best option, but she did TRY.. I felt like a failure for only making it to six months and barely..most of those months were spent trying to get my supply back, it was the most emotionally exhausting thing I have ever dealt with, a year later I still felt like a failure. But through all of that I had an amazingly supportive husband constantly reminding me that I can never say I didn't try.

user banned 2 kids; Minnesota 7318 posts
Nov 2nd '12

It kind of shocks me every time to see the defensiveness people feel about switching to or using formula. Formula feeding isn't failure. They are right, it's just a choice and mental health is most important when both options are acceptable.

GL♣PC♥BC 3 kids; Destin, FL, United States 9408 posts
Nov 3rd '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Chim Richalds:</b>" It kind of shocks me every time to see the defensiveness people feel about switching to or using formula. ... [snip!] ... feeding isn't failure. They are right, it's just a choice and mental health is most important when both options are acceptable."</blockquote>




For me.. I felt like giving my child formula meant that I failed at being able to provide for him as nature intended.. Much less taking the "easy" way about it. Breast feeding is a lot of work but the bond made it all worth it. And formula wasn't a choice made by me, it was the oly other option after no longer being able to breastfeed, that is what made it all the more difficult to handle emotionally.

Emmy's Mom 1 child; Indiana 1831 posts
Nov 3rd '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting GL♣:</b>" I really feel the opposite about this article. Particularly because I was the only one out of all of ... [snip!] ... But through all of that I had an amazingly supportive husband constantly reminding me that I can never say I didn't try."</blockquote>




I agree with this. I've been breastfeeding for a year and get little to no support. Formula feeding is greatly encouraged around here, and I've heard many women congratulated on switching to formula.



Do I think it's a bad thing for women to formula feed? No, I do however think women should try. If they can't for whatever reason, then they can't.



I think the guilt comes from the fact that no matter what you do as a mother someone else considers it wrong. There is no job judged more harshly than being a mother.



If the family is happy and heathy then let them be.