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♥Mrs.Garcia 18 kids; Houston, Texas 13802 posts
Oct 31st '12
Quoting Jas ♥:" He knows you sent the messages? So what exactly are you asking other than if you handled it the right way?"


I didn't ask, "If I handled it the right way" I asked "How do you handle this the right way?" like from this moment on... how do I go about handling this situation right... and yes, he probably most likely knows that by now. He checks his facebook on his phone all the time and seeing as how he sent me a message via FB. Of course it was me who sent the messages.

♥Mrs.Garcia 18 kids; Houston, Texas 13802 posts
Oct 31st '12
Quoting Jas ♥:" You aren't his mother. He can do what he wants. Sure, he should always take your feelings into consideration ... [snip!] ... but he's a grown man. If his actions are upsetting you, you have choices but none of those choices is to control him."


Of course I can not control a grown man. Really?!?! I can't make him do anything. That was not my question.



Am I suppose to be okay with this? I am I just suppose to let it slide if he does do this? Are there to be no consequences if he does? So just because I went on his FB it basically makes his actions knoll and void? I'll be 37/38 weeks pregnant. I had my son early so this one will most likely be early. I don't have family that live close by so who the hell is going to take me to the hospital??

♥Mrs.Garcia 18 kids; Houston, Texas 13802 posts
Oct 31st '12
Quoting Jas ♥:" You don't HAVE to be okay with this. That's what I am telling you. Read more slowly. You cannot control ... [snip!] ... you. If something he does makes you unhappy, you need to speak with him about it. Hellur, communication. You're married."


This isn't about controlling actions. It's about acting on it appropriately. So if he goes, I can get upset, but what? I just deal with it?

Ellie. 2 kids; Arizona 25443 posts
Oct 31st '12
Quoting ♥GarciaMommy:" This isn't about controlling actions. It's about acting on it appropriately. So if he goes, I can get upset, but what? I just deal with it? "


**Face Palm**

She is telling you that once you found out about this, you were supposed to discuss your feelings with him rather than let it get to the point where he just goes. Then if he still goes, then you discuss it more, and he can deal with the consequences. What else CAN you do?

♥Mrs.Garcia 18 kids; Houston, Texas 13802 posts
Oct 31st '12
Quoting Man. Bear. Pig.:" **Face Palm** She is telling you that once you found out about this, you were supposed to discuss ... [snip!] ... he just goes. Then if he still goes, then you discuss it more, and he can deal with the consequences. What else CAN you do?"


Should I go to my mothers? Should I reevaluate this relationship?

Ellie. 2 kids; Arizona 25443 posts
Oct 31st '12
Quoting ♥GarciaMommy:" Should I go to my mothers? Should I reevaluate this relationship? "


Is it that big of a deal to you? If it is, if you honestly feel that betrayed and that it is a potential breaker, then discuss the importance of it with him. He shoudl know how strongly you feel. Then if he still does it or chooses not to care, do what you feel you have to for sure.

♥Mrs.Garcia 18 kids; Houston, Texas 13802 posts
Oct 31st '12
Quoting Jas ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ♥GarciaMommy:</b>" This isn't about controlling actions. ... [snip!] ... That's up to you. Like I said, you have choices but what are u goin to do besides leave? Put him in time out?"


Why do you keep going back to the fact that I'm trying to control him or that I'm his mother or something??

Ellie. 2 kids; Arizona 25443 posts
Oct 31st '12
Quoting ♥GarciaMommy:" Why do you keep going back to the fact that I'm trying to control him or that I'm his mother or something?? "


She's being sarcastic. She is saying to use common sense. There IS nothing else you can do. Try to prevent it, or try to deal with the consequences later. That's pretty much it.

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5419 posts
Oct 31st '12

I didn't read all of the comments so apologies if this has already been said...



You say right at the beginning he was pretty drunk when he decided to send out invites to everyone on his FB friends list to his Mothers house?? Well then I don't see why you should apologise or that you have overstepped any boundaries. He quite clearly was not in the right state of mind and you even say he's not used to being drunk? He would probably be more annoyed waking up to find he had organised this party he remembers nothing about and you hadn't been the caring with interfering and clearing up his drunken mess for him lol



It's like if my Husband decided to go online while highly intoxicated and do some random crazy shit like that he would expect me to clear up the situation for him :)

♥Mrs.Garcia 18 kids; Houston, Texas 13802 posts
Oct 31st '12
Quoting Jas ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ♥GarciaMommy:</b>" Why do you keep going back to the ... [snip!] ... talk to your husband, express yourself and move on. I don't see why there needs to be consequences for something like this."


I don't think you understand where I'm coming from. So it's okay. Thank you for taking the time to be sarcastic and try to give me advice. Thumbs up.

ILOVEWINE Due April 24; 2 kids; Sweden 10814 posts
Oct 31st '12

I don't really think any realishionship where someone wants to control someone else is a good thing. You are totally in the wrong, and I think it will backfire. Being pregnant doesn't mean your SO has to give up his social life, and I would never except my DH to run everything he does by me. You are trying to control him and that's wrong.

♥Mrs.Garcia 18 kids; Houston, Texas 13802 posts
Oct 31st '12
Quoting ILOVEWINE:" I don't really think any realishionship where someone wants to control someone else is a good thing. ... [snip!] ... social life, and I would never except my DH to run everything he does by me. You are trying to control him and that's wrong."

Oh shut up. lol I'm not trying to control him. And yes, being in a marriage and being this far along in my pregnancy, out of respect for me he should run this past me. This isn't just some little thing either like a trip to the grocery store, this is a big thing. lol

♥Mrs.Garcia 18 kids; Houston, Texas 13802 posts
Oct 31st '12
Quoting ILOVEWINE:" I don't really think any realishionship where someone wants to control someone else is a good thing. ... [snip!] ... social life, and I would never except my DH to run everything he does by me. You are trying to control him and that's wrong."


Secondly, I NEVER said he had to give up his social life while I was pregnant. lol

♥Mrs.Garcia 18 kids; Houston, Texas 13802 posts
Oct 31st '12
Quoting xTJ:" I didn't read all of the comments so apologies if this has already been said... You say right at the ... [snip!] ... online while highly intoxicated and do some random crazy shit like that he would expect me to clear up the situation for him :)"


This is actually how he felt. He was surprised I did it but he said he was happy I did because it took the work out of it for him. smh. f**king men. I swear.