What parts of parenting have you had to do while your SO was deployed? Pregnancy? Birth? Infancy? Toddlerhood? Childhood? Teenhood?
What was your experience with it? Obviously all of us would rather have our daddies home for ALL of it, but if you could exchange the year(s) you had to sacrifice with your husband for a DIFFERENT age, would you? Which time do you think is easiest on YOU? What about easiest on the child? The deployed parent?
If you've experienced more than one, how did they compare?
I'm so scared to TTC in the future, not knowing what part of parenting my DH might miss again, and what another child will miss out on, as well as the child we already have..
Birth, infancy, toddler.
He was gone a lot the first two years, he met her when she was 5 months old. It was the easiest when she was a baby, because she didn't know the difference. When she realized he was gone, it broke my heart.
DH was deployed from the beginning of my 2nd trimester till DD was 2 months old. Then he deployed again when she was 11 months old. It wasn't really too hard on me. If he were to ever to deploy now that our daughter is 4 years old and super sassy and bratty I would probably go insane doing it alone
Eta: DD is very much a daddy's girl so I'm glad she was very young during deployments. She would have a hard time if he had to deploy again
My DH missed my entire pg with our first. I got my BFP 2 weeks after he left, he saw me pg at 6.5 mo during his R&R, missed the birth AND missed DS's first 3 months of life. He then deployed for the last time when DS was 13 months old, was home on R&R for 2 weeks when DS was 15 months old, and then we didn't see him again for nearly a year (went back to Iraq 12/28/06 and redeployed for good 12/15/07 )
Infanthood wasn't that hard without him, mostly b/c I knew he wouldn't help out much when baby was so young (and proved my point to some respect when DD was born 10 months after he redeployed). Even toddlerhood wasn't bad, DS and I got into a routine, just him and me. The hardest thing for us was once he got back. He tried to change the way we did things instead of integrating himself into our routines and then slowly changing things.
Quoting Mama MacGyver*:" What parts of parenting have you had to do while your SO was deployed? Pregnancy? Birth? Infancy? Toddlerhood? ... [snip!] ... what part of parenting my DH might miss again, and what another child will miss out on, as well as the child we already have.."
he missed my pregnancy, the birth, and her first year of living. he met her twice once at 2 months and another at 8 months before he left. and she finally had him again at 15 months. the baby years are easy well the again i had my mom and sister helping me out. Now that i live in a whole new state by my self with no support but him, its pretty hard.
Now. So, preschooler/childhood?
It's only been a couple weeks, but she's taking it pretty hard.
Its going well, because she's almost 4, so shes able to communicate with me whats wrong or what she needs.
It's just been one helluva few weeks. Deployment curse started early for us
The kiddos' dad missed out on DD from 7 months until 13 months and when DS was 2.
It affected him a little bit that his daddy was gone. He knew that daddy was on the boat but thought he was coming home today..and then the next day..and the next. He would look outside the window waiting for him and that broke my heart. He was a total daddy's boy.
When he came home..it's like he never left at all.
It affected DD, though. She obviously didn't remember him since she was a baby, but when he came home..they had people recording the homecoming and was streaming it live for people that couldn't make it out. The camera crew was right next to us when their dad appeared and of course they were shooting us. Gavin was happy.. but poor Madi was screaming so much the camera crew walked away. lol. But seriously, since she didn't know him.. she never wanted to be around him and treated him like a stranger for a while (and she was always so close to me, so all she wanted was mommy). And it hurt him, especially when she was happy to be around mutual friends of ours that were males.. but didn't want to be around him. Now.. you wouldn't be able to tell.
Just curious how it's going to be next time around..with both of them being toddlers..
Quoting ♡Sarah♡ + 2:" Infancy, toddler and soon to be school age. Hes been away for training for all of it though, pregnancy ... [snip!] ... Kieran is showing signs of regression, no longer attempting to pee on the potty, going back to communicating through sounds. "
You have a Kieran too??? Awwweee! My son is Kieran! <3 <3
Quoting ♡Sarah♡ + 2:" I LURVE that name. I dont hear it very often either <3"
I just love Kieran's. <3 lol We are thinking Declan if we have another boy
Quoting ♡Sarah♡ + 2:" That was on our list with my 4 month old but we went with Kellan instead. Declan is a possibility if we have another and its a boy."
It's odd how we came across it, DH saw it in the credits of a movie and LOVED it, then later researched it and realized the connection with the name Kieran! It just seems perfect.