What would you do? Jordan Gonzales Due January 26 (girl); Phoenix, Arizona 15 posts
Sep 24th '12

So when I found out I was pregnant, I was 2 weeks out of high school and all I can really say was, I was in SHOCK. I had only slept with one person before that and no we weren't together. Not even CLOSE. Let's say it was one of THOSE drunken nights you only remember bits ane pieces of. So I give him a call and tell him I had taken 3 pregnancy tests and they were ALL positive. He at first questioned if I looked right, I told him yes and then all hell broke loose. He told me it wasn't his, it couldn't be his. He then told me he wanted me to abort the baby. I told him to F off and that I was having this baby with or without him. That was around week 6 or 7 of my pregnancy. Now lets fast forward to about week 15. He sends me a text message telling me he got fired from his job and that he was moving to the valley not too far from me. I told him he was awesome for getting fired and then went on to why I could care less. He then appologized for being a complete jerk and went on to tell me that if the baby was his, he didn't want it to go fatherless. I trusted what he had to say and let him know that he is either in or he is out and he WILL not mess up or around because a baby is NOT a game. We agreed and life went on. Now lets fast forward to about week 20. I had talked to baby daddy just about every day since he decided to stick around. We would both excitedly talk about being good parents and he even talked to my mom about how serious he was about everything. He didn't text me back or text me for 2 days so I just thought what ever, he is busy. My friend called me and asked if I had known what had happened to baby daddy. I asked her if he was okay, she then told me that he was in jail for robbery and 3rd degree burglary. I was instantly enraged that he would do this not only to himself but his daughter too. I blocked him from social networking sites and almost blocked him from my phone. But didn't because I want to be the one to tell him he messed up big time, not anyone else. So it has been a few weeks. I am now 22 weeks pregnant. His trial is on Oct. 1 and it is a first offense so he should be getting out. My question to all you ladies is, do you think it wouldn't be right to cut him out of our lives? My friends and family tell me that it is best for us both and yeah i believe them up to a certain point but he is the father to my baby girl and I don't want her to go without a dad. And my second question is, how many times would you let someone mess up before you actually cut them out of you and your kids life? Thanks for reading! Any advice is appreciated!

r a b b i t ™ Bandle City, US, United States 27561 posts
Sep 24th '12

Personally, I wouldn't cut him out. I would let him know, however, that this is not the kind of influence you want in your daughter's life, and if he continues with this kind of behavior then he's going to have to suffer the consequences. I would give him at least until the bay is born. Some men experience a change within themselves when they see their children for the first time, some don't. I'd still give him the chance to be there for her when she's born. You never really know what kind of parent he's gonna be until the baby is here.

Vivialopod 2 kids; Vantaa, Finland 42788 posts
Sep 24th '12

I would not even worry about it until the baby is born and you know if he'll even be a free man to come around or not.

I personally had similar problems with my daughter's farther and o limited his contact with her and he is no longer allowed to see her because he's addicted to heroin and going to prison in Nov.

~Danielle~ Due June 9 (boy); 3 kids; 2 angel babies; Cape Coral, FL, United States 225 posts
Sep 24th '12

i wouldn't cut him out of you babys life, people mess up but he is still the father and deserves to have a part in his daughters life even if it is only supervised visitation and you don't want to be with him thats still his baby too.. plus when the baby is born and he actually sees her it might change him when its more real and he sees what he has to lose, my babys father is not the best either and is in prison right now and i don't want to be with him but i still don't keep his son from him if he makes an effort to call his son i let him talk to him but at the same time i wouldn't let him take my son unsupervised when he gets out

BreannPeyton 2 kids; California 51 posts
Sep 24th '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jordan Gonzales:</b>" So when I found out I was pregnant, I was 2 weeks out of high school and all I can really say was, I ... [snip!] ... let someone mess up before you actually cut them out of you and your kids life? Thanks for reading! Any advice is appreciated!"</blockquote>

Honestly, my son's father is in prison on his first offense of burglary, he has been in since august 2011, my son is now 3 1/2 years old and misses his dad he tells me every day. he is to be released November 5th this year.the only reason why i am considering letting him stay in my son's life is bc my son is asking about him so much now. If he hurts my son and follows the same path he led before prison i will have no choice but to cut him off, but i don't want to hurt my son by doing so. but children are smart, they know whether or not their father or mother is there for them, and they will make the decision
whether to be close to their parent or not. i understand your baby is still in the womb, in that case, i feel it's up to you, she's never met her father and won't know the difference whether he is there or not until she is older. if you feel it'll do more harm than good to keep him in her life then i would cut him off.....