My dad died... P Pickle Pants 98 kids; California 20532 posts
Sep 8th '12

Haven't seen him in 15+ years, so we weren't close. he wasn't a very nice man or a good person in general (my mom isn't much better either). I'm sad I never told him that I forgive him for how he was when I was a child. And that I'm sorry for my mom being vile with him after the divorce...he should have at least had supervised visitation, IMO.

I don't know how to feel. I definitely don't hate him, but I'm not sure I loved him either...I love what he SHOULD have been. What he could have been had he not been so twisted inside.

I hope he knows that some part of me does care for him and hope that he is at peace and that he didn't suffer.

Also, to my sibling...lovely to find out my dad died from a Facebook posting! Hanks for that.

Still have no idea on the details, just that it happened today. He was 75.

Julie Lyvers Due September 15 (girl); 21 kids; Rosamond, California 530 posts
Sep 8th '12

so sorry for your loss and at the same time so sorry you have to feel this way.. I am sure that somewhere inside he probebly knows that you do care.. and I dont care what the circumstances are it is bs that you have to find out via FB ughhh some people.. hand in there hun and try not to guilt yourself with the situation..

sweetbea Z&D my loves 1 child; Houston, Texas 3252 posts
Sep 8th '12

sorry for your loss honey

Rhia Leigh 33 kids; Massachusetts 1316 posts
Sep 8th '12

I'm sorry Mama :(

I felt the same way when my dad died. He wasn't a very good person either. I'd only met him twice, he promised to come to my birthday and then he just never came to see me again. Four years later he was gone. For a long time I hated him but when he died I was devastated. I don't hate him anymore but I can't say I love him. Mostly I think it's just sadness over knowing I'll never have the relationship we should have had, what I'd always wished we could someday have if things got better. It's a crappy feeling.

Sorry again mama, and terrible that you had to find out from facebook :(

Yoncé 1 child; 3 angel babies; Barcelona, Spain 3706 posts
Sep 8th '12

I'm sorry P.
I'm glad you are able to forgive his past transgressions and I hope he is at peace as well.

I didn't have a good relationship with my father either. When his time comes (shall I outlive him), I dunno how I'm going to sort through all the emotions. I don't know why I think about that now but I do.

Nothing But Pink! Due April 17 (girl); 3 kids; 3 angel babies; Maryland 7448 posts
Sep 8th '12

I'm sorry to hear this:( Even though you two weren't close it's still sad because he was your biological father and was a part of you. Hopefully he can find some peace now and you as well.

NICKEL☮POLIS 2 kids; Ontario 6268 posts
Sep 8th '12

I am sorry that he died without you two really getting the chance to have a good relationship. If my dad were to die tomorrow I imagine I'd feel a lot like you.
I would mourn the relationship that we never got to have moreso then the actual man (because I wouldn't know the man enough to be able to mourn him)

T+N=A,P&M 3 kids; Mundelein, IL, United States 5389 posts
Sep 8th '12

Sorry about your dad passing.

I haven't had a relationship with my dad either for 17+ years now he stop seeing us when I was 5 and never came back up he blames my mom for that but he could have fought for visitation if he hadn't done what he did with my sister (kidnapped her). If he was to die sometime soon then I wouldn't be able to mourn because I haven't forgave him for he has done.

Sorry about finding out on face book never a good way to find out.

P Pickle Pants 98 kids; California 20532 posts
Sep 9th '12

Now my mom, who divorced him 20 years ago and fought tooth and nail so the courts gave her a "no contact order" and essentially completely took his kids away completely and was absolutely vicious and accused him of ALL manner of horrible deeds (some of which I, personally, know he DID do...but my mom also is a pathological liar/embellisher. So I'm sure some of it is completely untrue)...

My mom is gonna try to go to the funeral to represent her kids (I'm 3000 miles away and my DH is working in the field and can't take leave to go OR to watch DS so I can go...and we can't affor 2 tickets right now for me to take DS---my sis is 500 miles away working full time with 4 kids. My bro is local but won't go).

Can she not we she'd be unwelcome and upset people who are genuinely saddened by my father's death? If I were closer, I'd go. And I'd love to take my son and introduce him to my dad's side of the family (I haven't seen them since I was 9-11 or thereabouts).

Woman, back the f**k off evil b***h and let the man die in peace WIHOUT you taking drama to his damn funeral!