I need some advice on what to do about my oldest son. First off let me give you a bcakground of whats going on. I just turned 21 and I have 2 lil boys both one and two and i have another baby due in Nov. I know I am not a teen but I had my oldest at 18 and all the older mothers judge me but anyways. I am married but my husband work two jobs ad is gone all day. I really dont get know help with my boys because he claim he is always tired however i try and make it with out his help. My oldest son is soooo sweet but he acts so bad at times and I yell at him alot because i just get stressed he dont listen and he talks back (well at least try too) My youngest soon is so busy and active an wants me to hold him all the time which cause me to not get things done around the house. I am soooo tired and stress i dont know what to do about my oldest. When I ask him to do things he gets confused and have this scared look on his face. I feel bad because I know its from me yelling at him and I try and stop doing it because i dnt want hm to grow up emotional and unfit. Being pregnant i hav no patients and i know with little ones you need to. I need advice on how to handle the problem because now my oldest lets his little brother bully him and cries....i dnt want him to fight back ...but this look on his face looks as if he is scared. Please give me the best advice u can
Stop yelling, no matter how frustrating it gets don't yell. Walk away and take a breather but stop yelling. Have you tried taking away toys, time outs, redirection? Maybe he's getting bored and therefor decides to act out to get attention? Have you tried letting him run outside for a while to get rid of some energy or maybe even doing some arts and crafts? Also consistency is the key.
Ok well the oldest is 2 who you are most concerned about? I think you need to stop yelling about the unimportant things... Like I'm sure I could see reasons to yell at a 2 year old all day (lol) but they are just at an age they don't understand most things yet. So you definately need to relax on him as much as you can. Because if it continues it could mess him up.
I wish I could fix things but the truth is kids don't come with a handbook. I have twins who will be 14 boys, a girl almost 7, and one due in a couple months. The only idea I can give is to talk to him and ask him what is going on and what you can do to make it so he wants to help. My son goes to work with hubby on the weekends and each gets alone time with us. Age is just a number dear. You seem to be doing just fine having kids that young. I am 36 so I am having kids older. Never thought it would work out this way considering hubby is almost 50. Best of luck and sorry i am not much help.
I can understand and relate. I have lost it and yelled at my son a few times. Just walk away, and breathe. I like to take my kids to the park every evening too. Its fun for them, and it relieves some stress for me.
Quoting GiannasMomma:" Ok well the oldest is 2 who you are most concerned about? I think you need to stop yelling about the ... [snip!] ... most things yet. So you definately need to relax on him as much as you can. Because if it continues it could mess him up."
im more concerned about is m 2 year old cause dont want what i do to mess him up ....i go t my husband and tell him that i need a lil time to relax but he always say he tired so i just fight it off but it cause me to yell and get stressed even more.....but that is something iwill work on is not to yell thanks
Quoting young mommi 2 b:" im more concerned about is m 2 year old cause dont want what i do to mess him up ....i go t my husband ... [snip!] ... fight it off but it cause me to yell and get stressed even more.....but that is something iwill work on is not to yell thanks"
Yea I know that has to be really hard. It's hard for me not to yell at kids for them just being kids sometimes... My SO would tell me. I was just never really a kid person. But it is a good sign that you are concerned about it.
thank you everyone for the advice
Awww, I know it is hard, I have 4 children and sometimes I want to scream and pull my hair out. I have been guilty of yelling and screaming bc of being tired and stressed. But what I have found is that yelling makes it worse. For you, for them and baby in your belly. I know how it is to have a baby that takes up all of your time and attention, and having a toddler that also needs you as well. There are times in the day when you can spend one on one time with him tho...like when baby is sleeping or eating in his high chair. Sounds like your 2 year old wants a little time with his Mama is all. So, choose quiet activities when baby is down, to read him a book or play playdough. He can do that while you tend to housework. Or if you are tired, take a nap with him. I know it is hard bc when you put all the kiddos down for a nap, you feel like you need to do your chores or use that time for you, I know, I do this all the time. Chores or FB? I always pick FB! LMAO! And then the chores pile up and we get more stressed! Coloring is also a great way to de-stress, or finger painting. Your 2yo just wants a little you time. You would be surprised what 5-10 minutes with Mama can do! Pick your battles, and remember he is still a baby himself. Cuddle on the couch and watch his fav movie, or go to the park. But I know what you mean about not having any patience while pregnant! It's hard, but if you just add a few minutes of alone time with him, it will be less stressful, he will appreciate it and you won't stress baby (in your belly) out as well. Hang in there! It gets better!!!!
OP, are there any mommy-groups near you, or a YMCA or rec-center? Maybe you could take your boys to a play-group and let he eldest run amok,get some energy out. And he could play with other kids and you could meet other moms to hang out with,get some "adult time."
Or you could pu your eldest in day-care for a coue hours once a week,or see if your mom or MIl can take him.That way you know he's safe and can get a nap if you want.