Hating everything! Advice? EmmaRitchie :) Australia 106 posts
Aug 23rd '12

Yesterday I had a doctors appointment with my normal doctor and he organised an ultrasound due to the fact I've kept on having period pain like cramps!
I got all chocked up during the ultrasound because I saw my baby for the first time! And the tiny heartbeat in the centre going so fast! I just cried and I assume this is normal.. I was just overcome by this miracle!
Earlier the same day I was over at mums and she is just so pushy about me having the termination that everytime I just look at her I hate her for not being understanding. She's had 3 kids, I know she knows what she is talking about but all she can keep saying is how pathetic and irresponsible I am and how I should take responsibility for my actions because I'm being rediculous. Also she can't stop saying about what I'm doing to this 'poor guy'. And how he will be up to his eye balls in child support etc when I wouldn't ever ask anything of him if he didn't want to be apart of my life anymore.
I don't live at home and I am only 19 but I work and study full time and I moved out of home before I was 18. How can I show her that she hasn't raised an idiot.
I never tried to get pregnant and put anyone in this situation but we are here now! How can I make her try and see the good with the complicated?!

On the other hand the father is my best friend and ex boyfriend. I work away now but I always find myself back every week to visit when I can because it just hurts too much to be away from each other. However the discussion of said baby is never up for discussion and when I look at him i start to resent him well! I asked if he wanted to see the picture of the ultrasound and I told him its a boy just like his father because he's stubborn and painful, he knew I was playing around :)
But he didn't wanna look at the photo. And he said he didn't wanna bring a child into the world that would suffer.. Meaning he didn't want to 'be like my father' both of our fathers were absent in our lives up until this day.. And I know a bub is a major responsibility and I don't think he wants/can handle that which I can also understand.. But why does it hurt so much to hear these words coming from him!
He said he would hate me :'(

I just want someone to talk to.
Im not sure for how long I can convince myself to say I can do this alone cause I feel like I'm falling apart. The people that mean the most keep pushing me down..
I just want him to take some responsibility.
What should I do?

*Bella's Mommy* Due October 29; 16 kids; New York 484 posts
Aug 23rd '12

Its your baby and your body so its your choice. You ont need unsupportive people in your life. Only you can decide whats best. Maybe your ex will change his mind once the baby is born. I was engaged when I found out I was pregnant and my mom gave me a hard time about it and now shes so excited and proud to be a grandma. I hope everything works out for you

whoknowsx New York, 1185 posts
Aug 24th '12
Quoting Scared & Excited:" Yesterday I had a doctors appointment with my normal doctor and he organised an ultrasound due to the ... [snip!] ... apart. The people that mean the most keep pushing me down.. I just want him to take some responsibility. What should I do?"

My parents and the BD were the exact same with me. But here I am, 8months, and my parents have completely turned around and are estatic about the baby (but not about the circumstance) and BD is excited (after ALLLLL of his shit talking and emotional torture) for his son.

Do what YOU want to do. But also be prepared to deal with the collateral consequences on your own. If it doesnt work out that way and you have support from your mom and your bd then good, but dont expect it.

Remember, your body, your decision. If you have a baby, you deal with that. If you abort, you deal with that. no one else.

Brynn & Everly's Mommy (: 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hanover, PA, United States 437 posts
Aug 24th '12

It's ultimately your decision. It's your body. You're the one who is going to spend the next 9 months carrying your baby. You are the one who can ultimately decide whether or not it is something that you are capable of doing. I believe every woman has some doubts when they finally become pregnant whether it's planned or unplanned, it's only natural. I can honestly tell you that if you do decide to carry your baby to term, it will be one of the most amazing experiences you will go through. You and your baby will have a bond like no other before he or she is even born! You have to decide what is best for you and the baby. If he leaves and wants nothing to do with you, just know you will never be alone, you will ALWAYS have your baby. Being a single mom isn't easy but I honestly loved it. My daughter and I have a bond like no other and now I am engaged to a guy who treats her like his own. It all works out on its own one way or another