our son will be two weeks tomorrow... YAY! this also means my husband will be going back to work tomorrow as well. im not so much scared but i know it sucks i have really enjoyed spending family time together. oh well we have the weekends right... well anyhow. myhusband informed me yesterday that he was going to start sleeping downstairs so he can get some sleep. my first thought was "WHAT THE HELL" but then i started thinking yes he needs the sleep because he has to get up early and work. well then i started thinking well what the hell again because our son wakes up about 3 or 4 times a night just because he doesnt want to be asleep anymore. i wake up with him when he is hungrey (we bf) and i change him during the night. so my husbands only concern is that when our son wakes up that hell wake him up as well. he doesnt do anything! during the day i have our 3 year old to try to entertain and keep busy and then the feedings, changings and making sure baby is safe. it just all seems like too much! its like he doesnt want to help at all! ((he does help during the day and some at night but i am alittle overwhelmed and being a bit dramatic since i have been up most of the night)) I understand as a SAHM this is our job but should it really be a 24 hr job when hubby is home to help? what do you ladies think?
Well, I mean he does work....he needs a good night sleep...
<blockquote><b>Quoting hIs_aBByGirL:</b>" our son will be two weeks tomorrow... YAY! this also means my husband will be going back to work tomorrow ... [snip!] ... understand as a SAHM this is our job but should it really be a 24 hr job when hubby is home to help? what do you ladies think?"</blockquote>
I think it's wrong. I would be pissed if my husband slept on the couch not next to me. My husband doesn't get up with the baby we cosleep and I bf. our 2 yr old if he here's him wake up he will tend to and my husband doesn't have a normal work schedule yet still does it.
i feel that way as well but I also realize my husband has to sleep since he has to go to work. However even when i worked when our first was born I was the one that always got up.
My ex would help at night even though he worked during the day. He would get up a least once with DS. We need sleep too dammit lol. I'd try talking to him. Explain you feel overwhelmed. Ask him to help even just once a night. I didn't bf (not because I didn't want to) so it was kinda different for me.
my husband helped me out a lot when LO got here but when he started working I let him get a good nights sleep. During the day he does help me but I do everything at night because I know he is tired and has to wake up early
My husband regularly sleeps in the other room. He needs the sleep, he has to be alert for his job.
BUT when I NEED help, like if both my kids are up at once and crying, I wake him up and have him help and he never complains.
So it doesn't bother me for routine feedings and stuff, but it would bother me if he refused to help at all.
when my baby comes, he wont be taking any time off work, we can't afford it... he works hard and deserves his sleep. i get time off to take care of the baby, we have already discussed he probably will be sleeping in the baby's room where we have a futon set up, and me and the baby will be in our room.
It doesn't last long. You just have to endure until they're sleeping through the night. IMO you should suck it up and let him get some sleep since he is working. When he is off make him give you a day off except for BFing of course, so you can get a break. SO gives me saturdays off and he works up to 5 12 hr shifts a week.
Soooo here is what we do at the awesome Garcia home. It works for us. We have learned from our previous kids that if both of us are sleep deprived then we become extremely dangerous to one another. It's toxic for us both to be that way. My husband works day shift now. For the LOngest I would put baby girl to rest in her pack n play downstairs and sleep on the couch so when she woke I'd be the only one affected. Now come the weekends I'd make sure I'd express enough to have bottles (I breast feed exclusively) so I could get some much needed rest. This worked for us. I don't get mad because he's sleeping unless he says something stupid like "I had to get up at 7am and fix breakfast for the family"...Thats when I snap and say HEY MUTHA TRUCKA .... You Got up at 7am after sleeping a full 9 hours straight!!! Usually shuts him up cause he knows how little sleep I get. So maybe something like that will work for you. You stay at home, it will be easier for you to catch up on rest. Sleep when the baby does. Them dishes will be there when you wake up! ;)
<blockquote><b>Quoting Chim Richalds:</b>" My husband regularly sleeps in the other room. He needs the sleep, he has to be alert for his job. BUT ... [snip!] ... never complains. So it doesn't bother me for routine feedings and stuff, but it would bother me if he refused to help at all."</blockquote>
If my husband has to work the next day I will not wake him up. Especially seeing as I breastfed Lincoln.
My DH had to be at work at a certain time, some nights linc would sleep through the night and sometimes he wouldn't be he always slept from 6-9am. I could easily sleep at that time. Being a SAHM you just have to figure out what works best for you.
I did however expect my husband to come home, he could have an hour tops to unwind and take a shower and then time to help me with the baby and household.
In the fall though, seeing as neither of us our working but we are both going to school one of us stays home while the other goes to classes. We both take care of Lincoln on our own and we both will do household work. However I do all the cooking. We both will parent equally just take turns.
As long as he is stepping up and helping with the responsibilities while he is home, I understand it.
My SO was the SAME way... didn't really have an 'option' on where to sleep but it was always my job to be up in the middle of the night with the baby. IF he got up at all w/ him, I paid for it the next day...
i don't think it's fair, but considering the fact that you are breastfeeding, it kind of makes it 'pointless' for your hubby to get less sleep if he's able.
as long as it's only on nights he works, be gracious and let him sleep, but remind him of what you do and how many times your son was up during the night.
Make him take over while you get a nap after he gets home from work - compromise on it so the sleep is more even between you two.
We co sleep. I always get up with Anthony. Always! Its gotten better as he's gotten older. Andrew needs his sleep. Does it piss me off during weekends. Yes because sometimes I would like to sleep too but it is what it is. During the week I can take a nap with anthony during one of his which is nice. I havnt had more than 6 hours of sleep in what feels like forever, but eh. (Sorry still bitter from getting up at 7 am this am after dh had me up till 2 because "I just want to spend time with you" and him sleeping in till 10. Lol)
My husband said the same thing and I felt the same way you are! I agreed to him sleeping in the guest room (reluctantly) he works at 5am and has 10 hour days so I didn't want him to be exhausted BUT it only lasted one night, he couldn't sleep without me next to him AW :)