Just Take Care Of Her Already! nikkibabii+3 19 kids; Pennsylvania 635 posts
May 3rd '12

First off I want to start by saying that I try not to b***h about having SD extra I love having her and would like to have her all the time. My problem is SD never knows where she is going to be because her mothers schedule doesn't always inculde her she ends up being pawned off on whoever is closest.

Please Don't Quote This Is Is A Vent!

A little Backstory: We have a week on week off custody agreement with SD's mother. We had SD in preschool 1 day a week and ended up having to pull her out because her mother never took her (she missed 17 days, mother was to take her 18 days) she never missed a day with us. Pickup day is on mondays normally she shows up to get her on Tuesday or Wensday and we get her back Saturday or Sunday. She rarely has her 7 days in a row. Since DH & I have been together (SD was 14 months old) I have been the one to take her to all her doctors appts., sign her up for school, and be the primary care giver. DH works 50-60 hours a week so it falls on me.

So last week my SD's mother called me to come to her house like we were best friends saying she needed to talk. We don't have a bad relationship but it is more of a "hi how are you" and "see you later" kind of relationship. SD's mother tells me she met a man out of state is leaving her boyfriend (and father of her other 2 kids) to be with this guy and eventually moving there. She has been talking about letting us have SD full time and comming for her on the weekends or when her time allowed. We have no new custody agreement in place so it is still at the week on week off custody agreement. Last night she called me and asked if I could take SD to cheerleading practice (It is her week to have SD) I have no problem taking her so I agreed to. Her reasoning for not taking her...her boyfriends kids didn't want to go to her practice they wanted to take them to a baseball game insted! So I take her to practice bring her home & get a text from her mom asking me to babysit all 3 of her kids while she worked tomorrow. I agreed to keep SD but told her no about the other 2. I kept SD over night & expected her to come for her when she got off work. Late this after noon she texted me and told me she called off work today because she didn't have a babysitter. But where is SD?! Still here! Take responsibility of your child and spend some time with her! I'm just fed up with her not putting her SD first. I would never not put my children first & I acutally prob. put her daughter first more than she does. DH is ready to call her and rip her a new one but I'm waiting to see how long it takes her to come get her without prompting. I just want the paperwork signed so that SD has a stable place to live or I want her Mom to step up!

anonymom + 1.5 2 kids; West Virginia 10787 posts
May 3rd '12

How sure is she that she's moving?

I wouldn't complain because she could turn around and pull a bitchy move and try to talk the little girl.

It's good that you are being a decent mother figure to this girl.

*Lolo* Due October 6; 5 kids; Belvidere, Illinois 5591 posts
May 3rd '12

sounds like my stepkids mom. she steps up occasionally but as soon as we get hopeful she blows it.

MunchkinWrangler 4 kids; Rīga, Latvia 47032 posts
May 3rd '12

Sounds like YOU are the only real "mom" she knows, and I think that if the mother wants to move out of state, she should leave her with you guys. Seems like that's the only way this poor child is going to get any type of stability in her life.

The Blissful Six 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Massachusetts 10260 posts
May 3rd '12

It's not fair to keep that poor girl in limbo. Thank God she has you guys!! Hopefully, things will work out for the best and soon!

nikkibabii+3 19 kids; Pennsylvania 635 posts
May 3rd '12
Quoting anonymom:" How sure is she that she's moving? I wouldn't complain because she could turn around and pull a bitchy ... [snip!] ... and pull a bitchy move and try to talk the little girl. It's good that you are being a decent mother figure to this girl."

She put her 2 weeks notice in at her job.
There is no way that she can take her with her & she knows that. That is why she offered full custody. I am sick and tired of watching SD be thrown from house to house and not knowing where she will end up next.

Crystal Mom of 4 4 kids; New York 6309 posts
May 3rd '12

That poor child. Her mother sounds like a real POS. Who packs up and leaves state without their child like that? The constant back and forth, never knowing where she's going to be must be so hard on her. :( It just goes to show that it's not always the dad that's a dead beat, ugh.

Jenna + 2 Beauties California 12806 posts
May 3rd '12

that poor little girl. I'm glad she at least has you!

OH Brother! 17 kids; Pennsylvania 2257 posts
May 3rd '12

Have you taken this up with the courts?
If she is consistently days late, and is asking you to do things like this consistently, I'd be bringing it up, that way you could hopefully get a new arrangement set up.
But if not I hope that your SD's mom gets her shit together and does whats best for her kid, weather that be her not being around, or her stepping up!