I feel like I can't cope.
Everytime I hear about someone having a baby, I die alittle more inside.
I feel like the one I want to be with, can't deal with me anymore because of how this is effecting me. We made the decsion. Hoping it was the right one. I was on medication at the time, and was afraid how'd that would effect everything.. He wasn't ready. No support. No license. Had a job. Barely making things meet. Having a toddler, and his father in jail. After, fighting for my son and trying to piece my life together. I go and make this choice. Now its all I think about. The constant reminder. TMI. The bleeding. The cramps. The ultrasound that was done... All I do is cry. No one knows what I'm going through. No one understands the situation that we were put in. I can't work, I can barely eat. Someone please. Help me put my life back together. I think about what I did, and all I can think about is causing myself more and more pain... I'm losing my job because I work with mentally ill people and just can't take it right now. I'm losing my love ones because I can't talk about things. This is my last hope. This is my lament. And as I type this, all I can ask myself is why.. Did I truly do it for the right reasons...
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I can't say I know how you feel, but I truly hope you can find some resolve. Have you considered speaking to a counselor about the way you're feeling?
I want too. But I'm so ashamed. Like I said I don't have much support. I don't know really where to turn...
dot make yourself feel broken about what you did. sometime you just have to do what you feel is right. i do not know what you going through. Just be strong i can promise you an ear so you can talk to me anytime if you need to and i will reply and try to help just remember your never alone
Thank you. I really just want help. I feel like I just can't get over this. And everyday it gets worse and worse.. I keep crying. I can't be happy for anyone because I get sick to my stomach. I want to keep believing in what I did. And in a way I do because I did it because I knew it was right.. But now, I don't know what I'm feeling anymore..
Maybe you should talk to someone? I went through that too. My abortion was 2 weeks and 3 days ago. I'm functioning. It's hard soem days though. Since then, I've found out two of my friends are pregnant, and one of them gave birth. But...you just have to keep telling yourself it was the right decision. I have my days where I cann't help but wonder...what if it would have been a girl? But I can't focus on the what if's and neither can you. You know in your heart and your mind that it was the right decision, so just keep telling your self that. It will get better :)
What you have to focus on now is the future, you can't turn back the clock, so take small steps forward. I'm sure there is a help line for you to call to talk to someone, or see your doctor, as you sound like you're suffering from depression. You are not alone with this, so never feel ashamed with the decision you made. Don't feel your head with those words, "I should've or could've, as they will just drag you down. You did what you had to do at the time sweety.
Quoting Katie Lady:" I want too. But I'm so ashamed. Like I said I don't have much support. I don't know really where to turn..."
I've never been in your situation. But I can tell you that even as someone who has not felt that way it is clear that you have NOTHING to be ashamed of. You are entitled to feeling the way you are and entitled to seek help.
I'm sorry you are feeling like this, really. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts.
Perhaps the clinic you went to would have connections fro professionals who have experience in these situations where you can seek help.
*hugs to you*
I am so sorry for your loss. You could call or contact the Rachel's Vineyard support person nearest you. They have helped a lot of people I know find peace after regretting their abortions. I wish you the best.