So I finally have time to sit down and tell the story of my oldest son. Just beginning to write this I can already feel the tears coming.
In November of 2007 I met a boy (I will never call him a man) named Rusty. He was the typical smooth talker. He was sweet at first. He acted like a "prince" I guess you could say. That soon turned into a living nightmare. He began telling me what to do, what to wear, who to talk to, who to hang out with. He told me I wasn't allowed to wear makeup because I was trying to attract other guys. I also couldn't wear anything but a turtle neck for the same reason. Then the abuse started. I still, to this day, do not know why I stayed. After everything I have been through in my past (a story for another time) I thought I'd be stronger than that.
February 8th, 2008 I took a pregnancy test. I wasn't late or anything. I just felt like I needed to take one. The test turned up positive. I then went next door to the store and bought three more. All positive. I was in shock. I didn't know what to do. I was with an abusive a*****e who had cheated on me multiple times. (I was an idiot. I know.) I didn't have a high school diploma, I had a suck ass job, and I was only 18 years old. I was scared shitless. The day I took the test I threw the pack of cigarettes I had out the window.
February 11th, 2008 I left him. I cared more about my unborn child. He tried for a while to get me back. I refused. He stalked me at work. I worked at a local grocery store and one night I was working out at the gas station and I was on a step ladder putting up signs and he drove by and tried to hit me. Because there were no cameras where I was, it was never proven. :roll:
He then found another girl; actually the girl he had cheated on me with.
I was working. I was saving up money to get ready for my unborn child. I was determined to give it the best life I could.
April 5th, 2008, I met a guy named Brandon. He was another guy I thought was my dream guy. We started dating five days later.
May 18th, 2008 I found out I was going to have a precious little boy. I cried like a baby when they told me it was going to be a boy.
I started buying boy things. I bought him a blanket (gender neutral) that was tan stripes and soooo soft. I knew he'd love it.
The next few months went by uneventful. Except that Brandon and I moved in together in June.
Then August 19th, 2008, everything changed. I went for a special 3D ultrasound so I could see my little boy in a different way. While the tech was measuring his brain, I noticed her manner changed. She then said,"I will be right back." She then left the room and I became more scared than I ever have before. I thought she was going to come back in and tell me that my baby had died. I didn't know how this could be, he had just been kicking.
She came back in and cleaned me up and told me that they had a room ready for me that the doctor wanted to talk to me.
The doctor brought me into the room and sat me down. He then told me that my little boy had fluid on his brain. He said it wasn't a lot, but it was there. He said the word "Hydrocephalus" and my world started crashing. I was horrified. I was crying and shaking. I didn't know what to do.
Four days later they had made me a rush appointment at UT of Knoxville to have an amniocentesis. I laid down and they stuck the needle into my belly. Aidan began kicking it as hard as he could. It hurt like hell.
I waited for the results. The doctor told me that there was nothing else wrong and that the fluid would probably go away. I was so relieved. I wanted to go out and celebrate.
Monday, October 6th, I went in for a check-up and the doctor decided he wanted to induce me at 9 a.m. Wednesday morning. I was so excited. I was finally going to meet my little boy.
I went in for the induction at 7 am on October 8th. They got me situated, did all the paper work. They started the pitocin at 9 am. They broke my water at the same time.
The contractions were KILLER. I didn't know they were going to be that bad. haha.
I was such a mess.
I started pushing at 6:00 p.m., five pushes later, and at 6:11 p.m. Aidan Lee Gomer was born. He was 7 lbs 4 oz and 20 and 3/4 inches long.
I was so happy. Everything was perfect. I had a beautiful little boy. He was my world.
7 days later, my world was rocked.
Aidan had what we now know was a seizure. He was laying in his bassinet and all of a sudden his body made a half moon shape and he wouldn't move from that position. One of his eyes was rolling. We went to our closest hospital and they rushed us to a hospital to the nearest city that specialized in children. They couldn't find ANYTHING (so they said.) They blamed it on GERD. They prescribed him Zantac and sent us on our way.
For MONTHS, he'd do the same thing and I'd take him in each time DEMANDING that they do something. They sent me to all kinds of hospitals, ran tests among tests, and always said the same thing. It was GERD. He'd outgrow it.
I started to notice that he wasn't hitting his milestones. He wasn't holding his head up at all. He was like a newborn at 4 months. Then on February 23rd, 2009, he did the same thing again. I went to the hospital, yet again. This time, they told me it was something called torticollis. They sent us to physical therapy.
Aidan was finally showing improvement. He was able to hold his head up, he was starting to push up on his arms. I thought that everything was going to be okay.
For months he didn't have another episode (seizure now we know.) I thought that the doctors were right this time and that therapy was helping him.
He first rolled over June 26th, 2009. He was eight months old. I was so happy.
We went to therapy every week and little by little he was showing improvements.
I ended up leaving Brandon August 31st, 2009. He hadn't had a job since November of 2008 and I wasn't in love with him anymore.
I moved in with my mom and then, Kevin, a guy I had known since I was 15 sent me a message on Myspace. I hadn't talked to him since he joined the Army back in 2007. We had been BEST FRIENDS for 3.5 years before he joined. I had always wanted to be with him, but he had a girlfriend at the time and I'm not the type to try and come between someone. They got married right before he joined and then they moved away. Well when he sent me the message he told me about how he had been cheated on by her 5 times and they had split up February of 2009 while he was deployed in Korea and they were getting a divorce. He also said in this message that he had liked me all those years. I couldn't believe it. This guy was my true dream guy. I mean, you know those guys that you always think are out of your league and would never in a million years like you? Yeah. He was mine. We started talking and webcamming with each other while he was still deployed. We started a relationship.
It seemed as if everything was finally falling together.
Aidan turned 1 October 8th, 2009 and I gave him the best birthday party I could at the time. The day of his birthday he learned how to pull himself to a standing position. I was so proud.
December 27th, 2009, Aidan had a seizure.
This would be the seizure that would change everything.
He forgot everything. Before the seizure he had been saying "mama" and "baba" and eating solids. He was pulling himself to stand and trying to crawl.
It was all gone.
I took him to doctors up doctors. Tried getting answers. They gave me none.
Finally, in February, Aidan went to a neurologist and had a 24 hour EEG done and yet another MRI.
This time, this neurologist saw it.
Aidan's frontal lobes were so deformed it as if there were none. The doctor called it frontal lobe digenesis. He told me that his frontal lobes would never be okay. He told me that my little boy, my precious little miracle, would have the mentality of a one year old for the rest of his life. He would never talk. He would never walk without assistance. He would never have a normal life. And on top of everything, he had autism and epilepsy, plus the hydrocephalus.
It was like I was in a dream. I mean, what had I done? Did I do something during pregnancy? Did I not do something? I needed answers.
March 24, 2010, I found out I was pregnant again. I was terrified yet again. But this time because I was so scared this baby was going to turn out like Aidan.
(So far though, he seems healthy. I'm hoping he's healthier.)
The neurologist sent Aidan to a geneticist. They did tests and said that Aidan's frontal lobes had stopped growing at 8-9 weeks gestation. They said that the reason Aidan has so many problems is because he has a duplication of the 13.11 chromosome inside the 16th chromosome. They said that it was passed down from one of the parents.
Tyler was born. He had a hole in his lung and was in the NICU for 11 days, but his brain was normal.
I then had my blood drawn for a genetics test to see if I was the carrier of this rare disease. It turns out I am and it was passed down from my father.
When it's passed down from the father to a child, the child has no problems, but when it's passed down from the mother to a child, the child can have problems upon problems.
Tyler goes for a genetics test May 5th to see if he has the same problem.
Aidan is happy. He's not eating solids, he walks with assistance, can't say a word, and still has seizures. But he's on medication for them and they only come during growth spurts. And he's loved. He's loved very much.
I am thankful for each days he's here. He's my miracle. He's my hero.
I wouldn't change him for the world.
For anyone that reads all this, I am amazed. It's very long.♥
I just got done reading it all. Omg mama you are soo strong !!!!!!!! <3
He's a beautiful little boy. Your a strong mom and he's very lucky to have you has his mother!
He is beautiful and so lucky to have you as his amazing mother.
You are sooo strong!!! He is so beautiful!
Moving story. I'm so sorry you had to go through all that... but he looks like SUCH a happy boy. He is gorgeous.
That made me want to cry,you are a very strong woman and your son is adorable
Wow mama you are very strong! I'm so sorry that you have to go through all of this. But you seem happy to just have your little boy. You and he are very amazing! And he is sooo cute!
Quoting P.Niss:" That made me want to cry,you are a very strong woman and your son is adorable"
Same here.. had me in tears!
Thank you all.
And yes, he's so happy and I'm just happy he's happy.
His smile is so adorable!
He can be an awesome con artist with that smile!
I read it all and your an amazingly strong women! You have beautiful kids!
The one thing that is most clear to me after reading Aiden's story is that he is one very lucky little guy to have you as a mother. Your story brought tears to my eyes. I'm not sure I could ever have been as strong as you were (and still are). Many prayers for your little family and for Aiden. <3
eta...all I see in those pictures is a happy, loving little boy.
Quoting Satan:" He is beautiful. And you....you just showed me a person who is...more. That's the only word i can think ... [snip!] ... us who love our children are loving and strong and durable. But you are all of what every mother is..and more. Just....more."
This just made me cry. ♥
And thank you all.
I love you beccaaa!!! you are the best mommy ever! and aidan is such a little cutie!